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Well her I am; 21 years old and 412 pounds.
I have an obsessive compulsive eating disorder which for the past 5 years I have been pretty good about keeping under control.
In highschool I stayed in the 320-350 range that fluctuated with the seasons. I was happy with my life, but unhappy with my body. At 19 I became pregnant with my fantastic daughter Charlotte....I was 368 at the time. By the time I delivered(by c-section) I was 411 pounds and miserable with myself. 31 pounds lost in just 6 weeks after having Charlotte. I was looking better, feeling better, but still self conscious about my new fat apron from my c-section. I kept that off for a good 3 or 4 months but with finals and getting pregnant again, I gained most of it back. I had a miscarriage in February which set me into a depression and back to my overeating.
So I'm 1 pound heavier than I was the day I delivered my daughter. I NEVER thought I would go over 400 pounds. I feel like a whale. I feel useless and unattractive. I feel like I'm mobile, I love walks with my daugher and boyfriend, but I wish sometimes that I could run.
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2455 kcal
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Fat: 45.75g | Prot: 60.65g | Carbs: 453.00g.
Breakfast: mountain dew, full bar. Lunch: water, acai, simply lemonade, tacobell hot sauce, Caramel Apple Crisp. Dinner: water, vegetable spread, white bread, spaghetti, full bar coc. Snacks/Other: cottage cheese, baby carrots, all natural peach tea snapple. more...
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5308 kcal
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Exercise:
Yard Work (gardening) - 1 hour, Walking (brisk) - 6.5/kph - 9 minutes, Resting - 17 hours and 21 minutes, Sleeping - 5 hours and 30 minutes. more...
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 Comments
Hang in there. If you love walks, do more of it, don't worry about running. Like they say, "you have to walk before you can run." That goes for the diet and for the literal translation.
13 Jul 10 by member: Golfclubguy
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I guess I was saying "I wish I could run" more as a metaphore. I wish that I could do all of the things that everyone else does, I wish I didn't have to worry about weight etc. But thank you for your support :D
13 Jul 10 by member: CAREbebe
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Is scarey to make a life style change. It so much easier to just do what we've been doing all along. It's encouraging to read others post and journals at this site because they are going through the same things as you. I tell myself "Don't beat yourself up, tomorrows
another day" I was a terrible emotional eater and a carboholic. it's changing slowly. when losing weight you have to deprogram youself and learn about food all over again. You have a wonderful little girl to do this for. I'm getting healthy so i can be around when my grandchildren graduate and get married. We can do this!!!!
13 Jul 10 by member: scrapinkathy
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It's hard to not obsess over food. It's always there, surrounding us! Every commercial, billboard, or even other people just stuffing it in their faces! I've found that it's easier to control what I drink sometimes, and that even if I absolutely have to have a cookie or something, at least I know that I'm only drinking water. Try it, I used to do this in high school sometimes and I'd drop two pounds just from not drinking sodas (even diet ones) or a ton of sugary juice. You can do it! I'm 21 too and I feel dead that I've gained so much weight in the past few months, but we're still young! We can do it!
13 Jul 10 by member: abberz3589
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Thanks everyone :D I love the encouragement that I'm already receieving on this site!
14 Jul 10 by member: CAREbebe
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I know how you feel. I've always been the biggest person in the room, and been completely repulsed by my photos. There are VERY few photos of me with my son (10months old). And I want him to have pictures of his mom and him when he was little. I want him to not be embarrassed by me when he plays with his friends. My parents got divorced and we moved to a town where I knew no one and I sat inside all day and played video games. Now I am where I am, and I'm determined to change myself and be the sexy person I know that lives inside me somewhere. I am definitely here for support if you need!
14 Jul 10 by member: shellie77
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Thank you! I wish I had more photos with my daughter too. I cringe whenever I look at the ones that we do have :/
14 Jul 10 by member: CAREbebe
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CAREbebe's Weight History
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