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First, a disclaimer to anyone who may be reading: I STILL have not figured this out...my slump...which is all mental. But I was definitely finding that journaling was helping before so I decided I needed to keep it up. I had stopped lately because I feel like I keep having the same thing to say...I feel like my journal could be read as me saying, "Poor me...what should I do?"...or as if I am just fishing for praise or something and I HATE that...and I don't want anyone to think that. I hate when people intentionally say something for the sole purpose of getting someone to disagree with them. A simple example would be someone saying, "I'm fat" just so they can hear someone say, "Oh no you're not...blah...blah...blah." So just so you know while I LOVE the support and it does really mean a lot to me, I don't want anyone reading to think I am just fishing for...who knows what!? LOL at myself because by now, I'm sure NOBODY is reading...who could even get through this disclaimer???
Anyway, the point is that even though a week ago I proclaimed that I was going to do everything I needed to do...track calories, exercise, stop when I reached my caloric intake, etc., I have not done any of that this past week. I guess I tracked my calories once or twice. <sigh>
I came upon the realization the other day that it's been 6 months since I've been on FS and I've only lost 23 lbs. And I know, I know, on most days, I see that as an accomplishment but today, I look at it as a failure because I know I could have done much better had I worked a little harder. If I had been focused and "only" lost 23 lbs, I would probably feel better about it but I am feeling badly about it because I am disappointed with my efforts as of late. As has been said before in the forum posts, we are all in control of what we do and do not put in our mouths...so why do I choose to pollute myself and sabotage my weight loss efforts??
The ONLY thing that ever truly motivates me is when I remind myself that I'm doing this for my kids. If I can remember that on a daily basis, I can be more focused. When I lose sight of that and do it for vanity purposes, it just doesn't work. I'm contemplating getting a bunch of pictures of my kids and posting them all over the house...especially the kitchen...so I can think about my motivation before I shove a cookie in my mouth.
I'll get there. I can't say this is the longest I've been on a weight loss adventure but I can say that this is the longest that I've been off-track but have not given up completely. By now, I would have normally just gone back to my former self. This time, I'm still hanging on to the "you can do this" mentality. I am still fighting the "Who the hell are you kidding?" mentality that has plagued me so many times before. I have to say that this is 100% due to the FS community and my buddies.
Tomorrow is a new day and a start of a new week.
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 Comments
Keep going! You can do it. I fell into the trap of dwelling on what I could've lost if I worked harder, I changed it to focusing on all the good that has been done from what I have lost. No matter how ling it takes, each pound you lose makes you that little bit healthier and more energetic. Remember, the past is the past, all you can do is learn from it and then move forward to a whole new you :)
28 Jun 10 by member: chicky60
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Four pounds a month is about as good as it gets. Of course, you could push yourself to a faster unsustainable pace and risk falling apart completely. I think you are doing fine and that you should recognize that, there is no need for us to be so hard on ourselves. Think positive, and keep up the good work Challenge!
28 Jun 10 by member: information
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23 lbs is still 23 lbs lighter than you were during the holidays!!!!
and at least your NOT 23 lbs heavier!!!!!
stay positive and stay focused!! your doing great!!!!
28 Jun 10 by member: amy1flite
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Hey I hear you on all fronts, I just went through a 2 month slump where I could not find my motivation I would make good choices for 2 days then make bad ones for 5.. I gained and lost the same 5 to 8 lbs 4 times during that 2 months.. I told my husband I just need to find that fire i had before. My kids are my fire as well. I want to be a healthy example for them and live a long life so that I can see them grow and blossom, hold grand babies, go to weddings.. I also know the facts.. a child with two obese parents is nearly doomed in the healthy weight dpt. So I cant really tell you what turned it back around for me.. but I just got tough with myself and said no more.. the first 4 days back were really hard after so many days off just eating whatever I wanted.. but just like quitting smoking I got over it and took the challenge head on. Good luck finding your mojo
28 Jun 10 by member: Ceebee
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It's so hard and at times depressing when we look at our weight loss negatively. I have been on FS for 6 months; weight loss 19#. Some days I look at that and say I'm really dissapointed and ask why have I only lost 19#. Other days I think wow I've lost 19#. That is more than I have lost in the past 5 years total. The problem is that it is so so easy to slip back into the old habits and think it's just not worth it, but it is worth it to be around for our children. They deserve better and need good role models so hopefully they don't slip into the same patterns their parents have. So hang in there. We all certainly have our poor me, pity party days. I'm having one right now.
P.S. That was the longest disclaimer i have ever read that made perfect sense. How screwed up does that make me!
28 Jun 10 by member: sharry41
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I've lost 10 pounds since December, and there were times when I was really focused. I would take 23 pounds in the same time frame! But that probably doesn't help. You're really doing great. Cancel the pity party and go walk barefoot in the grass! Have you done that lately? It feels good!!
30 Jun 10 by member: sooki
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ONLY 23 LBS?! Honey, you didn't put it on that fast and it certainly does take time and effort to get it off. Look at your achievement and focus on that. You could be sitting there saying, "Wow, I'm 12 lbs heavier than I was this time last year" like I used to do. You are taking it off slowly and you are making lifetime changes in how you look at food. I think that if you really want to lose it faster, you will. If you're pretty comfortable with the rate you are losing at now which is PERFECTLY FINE, you'll continue your path. I don't know about you, but I would much rather lose 23 lbs in 6 months than go up 5 lbs in the same amount of time!
03 Jul 10 by member: jenju
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When we give ourselves permission to be imperfect, it makes the challenge a lot more manageable. Try to set realistic goals, forgive yourself if you don't quite meet them, but most importantly, applaud yourself for ANY AND ALL PROGRESS you make in the right direction!
Do you know how much I wish I could say I've lost 23 pounds??
03 Jul 10 by member: kstubblefield
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I know what you mean.I am there now and I have to keep reminding myself why. Like you said when you do it for vanity it's easy to fall, but for the kids you stay motivated. My two oldest have known me like this forever,but I promised the little one(4 months) he won't, and I normally never break a promise. It's been really hard these past weeks, but I got to remind myself that I did lose 27lb from my highest weight in nov 2008. You just got to keep going forward.Losing a pound here and there is better than gaining it.
09 Jul 10 by member: zacali
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