smashgrl's Journal, 31 Oct 08

It's an exciting time for me--I continue to lose weight and stick to my eating plan. I don't usually make it this long--I cheat ;) then bounce around and land on a different diet or back into unconscious eating.
I have remained conscious this time and know it is not an overnight thing. I do dream of being my goal weight by my birthday and often say to myself:
Bonnie--you can't stay the same--you are either going to lose or gain--which one do you want?
I want to lose!!

I am spending the weekend with my sister--I am beyond excited--we have never done this before and haven't seen each other in over 2 years. We have drifted apart over the last 10 years so when she asked to have a girls weekend--I jumped at it!
We found a beautiful hotel with a spa and will pamper ourselves.
It makes me almost weep as the last words she said to me where:
"Bonnie, don't say anyting about my weight--I'm really huge" I responded "Oh! my goodness don't worry about that --I'm no twiggy either"
"No, I"m serious Bonnie--I am huge!"

You see, in our home it seemed all that mattered was our weight. Our weight was our value! so we were taught.
I wouldn't see nor hear from my Dad for an entire year and when he would call the first question he would ask is "How much do you weigh?"
I recently reconnected with mother after a few years and she talked about my sisters weight--she dared not ask me --I have definite boundaries today.
It's not so easy to break free from the chains of the past.
I have made a decision to move past this one area of my history.

I'm so excited to spend time with my sister so she can meet the woman I am today :)
Have a great weekend all!

100.7 kg Lost so far: 6.8 kg.    Still to go: 23.6 kg.    Diet followed: 100%.