jsfantome's Journal

66 to 70 of 879

Page: Previous ... 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 ... Next

14 March 2013

I am sorry - really sorry - that I haven't stayed caught up here. I didn't get the job at the police dept. Still sending out resumes... still nothing yet. I have been continuing to volunteer at church, which makes me happy!

I have been in a literal 'funk'. I push, and I stay dedicated, and I try and I try... and I am the same.

Stef - no idea how you ever stayed in such a long plateau and never 'gave up'.

I am re-energizing my attitude to start again. Yesterday was day one (after my last 3 weeks or so of 'who gives a rip!') I am actually starting to feel a bit better...but we'll see if it lasts.

No words of wisdom from this camp today!
Much Love.

(8 comments)

09 February 2013

WOW!!! Well, no gym day for me today :) Just shoveling!!!!!!!!! I am doing fine...headed over to the neighbors to check up on the old people :) Stay safe and warm. I'll be back tomorrow. Much Love.

(10 comments)

06 February 2013

I know I have been on only intermitten these last few weeks...but I am doing well. Both emotionally and physically. Just crazy busy. Which helps to keep me mentally well. The more I sit around with nothing to do the worse it gets! Definitely feeling some of the 'winter doledrums'.

Winter hasn't even been that bad, but the shorter days, and the cold tend to keep us huddled indoors... which is terrible for someone who needs to get their butt in the car and go to the gym!

Anyway... working at it! One day at a time.

Hope you are all well. Much Love.

(8 comments)

28 January 2013

Well, still NO WORD from the job interview! Hmmm? God has another plan! :)

Today was a great day. Volunteered in the church office. Working on 'righting' the ship in regards to Events we host. (what a mess to start with...but I am unraveling it in record time!)

Hubby and I are headed out to dinner tonight. Trying to decide if I can go mexican w/out eating the chips! (all time favorite...) Think we might go to the steakhouse instead! :)

Ok then...decision made. Weakness recognized. Catastrophe diverted.

Much Love.

(6 comments)

27 January 2013

This could likely be a long journal...just forewarning you! :)

It's been a journey, to say the least...but uncovering some of the reasons I continue to turn to food to soothe my bruised soul, has been helpful in that it makes me more aware.

When I am 'feeling' a lot of emotion, be it...sadness or grief, or happiness and joy... I tend to turn to food.

Knowing this...WOW! That has been one of those 'lightbulb' moments that is a life changer for me. Now I have the opportunity to see it...to own it, and to hold myself accountable while it is happening.

Thing is when the emotions are tough - it is a tough conversation to have w/ oneself. To say you actually care about yourself and what you are choosing to eat or not...when you are feeling emotionally all torn up...well, that is when I just MUST turn around and walk right back out of the kitchen.

I might come here to the computer, or read a passage in scripture...I might just sit and have a good cry over something...but to abuse myself further with food - becomes the worst of all choices. Because tomorrow I will feel different. I will be different. And I will have to deal w/ the weakness of soothing w/ food and the ripple effects these choices keep having on my system.

One step forward and two back is no way to ever get to my goals. Not w/ food, or with anything in life.

So, I am challenging you - to really look at your habits. When you 'snack' or 'over indulge' - can you define why you move away from your 'focus' on what you need to do... to the place where you lack accountability and let all guards down and just hide from yourself for a few moments of 'food pleasure'.

Where is the source inside coming from? Is it pain? And if so - can you find other ways to deal w/ that other than food?

I can 'manage' my food issues and forever stay 15-20 lbs overweight.

But something inside of me knows this is the weaker way to handle the rest of what is going on inside of me.

The stronger way... requires honesty. And responsibility on my part to make changes. Good changes. Ones I can live with.

Food for thought!!!

(5 comments)

jsfantome's Weight History

View Complete History