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lisaducharme236
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lisaducharme236's Journal
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Weight History
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03 January 2024
You can say harsh truths
Words to afflict pain
You can knock me down
Kick at my heels
But you’ll never break me
Never take away the light in my dark skies
Never burn me
From the ashes I’ll rise
You can try to steal a piece of my soul
Break my heart
Bruise my ego
You’ll never have the strength to take away my grace
My inner beauty
No you’ll never change me
I’m flawlessly resilient
Even in my flaws
I learned as a small child to grow into grace
To always give myself grace
You’ll never take away the others love for me
Love is indestructible and priceless
You can be cruel
You’ll never make me bitter
I’ll always be kind
You can’t take anything away from me
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03 January 2024
Two and a half years ago my mind went into a very dark place. I had been sexually assaulted at gun point by someone I thought I could trust. It was as if my rose colored glasses came smashed off my face.
I had the appropriate therapy and the support of my family and my best friend. I just now came to the realization the after fall of being assaulted still is a mindblock. You see I may be a survivor, but you don’t know what it’s like to wake up and still suffer the ptsd. I can have mostly good days but some nights it’s hard to breathe.
He not only violated me but he took a piece of my trust and now I see the true darkness of the world. That amongst the good there is indeed true hatred and evil.
So I’m going back into therapy on January 19th.
I have a self sabotaging mindset that tells me even when I’m thin I won’t deserve happiness. That it scares me to think if I lost the weight I can have it all. I can feel healthy and good about myself. For some unbeknownst reason; that frightens me!
Hopefully therapy can help me unravel the pain and help me rise from the ashes once again!
(5 comments)
01 January 2024
I found a really unsupportive comment on my blog here. I deleted it! Why someone gains or loses weight is nobody’s business. We all struggle and we all have good days and bad. I don’t log in everyday. I’m going to start. If you don’t have anything positive to say about my weight loss journey. I suggest you don’t comment; it will get deleted anyway.
(12 comments)
01 January 2024
I rejoined Red Mountain Weight Loss. I had success with losing 40 pounds in 4 months with them before.
I start back January 5th. I’m going to weigh in weekly and that will keep me accountable.
I deleted my dating apps. As much as I want to find love. I realize I need to focus on myself. At my current weight I’ve been attracting only men with a ‘fat fetish’. Where they say “ oh you look fabulous no need to loose weight.”
I have come to realize it’s either a fetish or an insecurity. I had an ex who didn’t want me to lose weight in fear I would get hot suddenly and leave him.
If you can’t be supportive of someone’s goals to better themselves then it’s not love.
(1 comment)
01 January 2024
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
142.4 kg
1.4 kg
20.9 kg
Reasonably Well
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Losing 1.6 kg a Week
lisaducharme236's Weight History
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