The Ninj's Journal, 18 Dec 10

Ok FS world here is my delimma:

I am making changes to my lifestyle, so I will be able to continue living. Quite simple my food choices of the past are killing me; literally. I had a 5-way heart by-pass @ the tender age of 47. Followed by a (missed) major heart event that distroyed the front wall of my heart. Plus, I am an uncontrolled diabetic, with blood sugars that are dangerously high. I have manage to improve my heart functions & gotten the heart stablized. What I am being told now is: if I do not get the Diabetes under control all my hard work will fail. Even with insulin my sugars continue to rise.

I have made huge improvements in the foods I choose to eat but have lost the joy in eating. I find myself eating only because I have to. I use to love to share meals with friends & family. Now I find myself avoiding to kitchen altogether.

I do not enjoy cooking for just myself & I am having trouble finding a routine that works for me. I spent so many years feeding my family & loving it. It bothers me to not have anyone in the kitchen with me. Sharing food was always great fun in the past. I don't understand why I have so much trouble with cooking now. Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appriciated.
And I want to thank LisaOnline for guiding me to this site. She has been a great inspiration to me.

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Comments 
I want to thank everyone for the encouraging words & the many wonderful suggestion. I will be using many of them. For those of you with heart concerns (especially females), Please feel free to ask me anything you want about it. I spent about 5 years trying to get the medical establiment to listen to me rather then the test results. By the time anything showed up on any lab work or testing I had 2 arteries 90% block & the third was not even viable. I knew something was not right but I could not get it to show up for the DRs. (they thought I was nuts until I proved them wrong). So if you think something is not right or it just feels wrong. Keep checking and especial if you are female. My only symptom was feeling like my feelings were being hurt. I would not have called it a pain at all. Just a feeling. When I had the heart event it was missed all together. I had no heart damage to the muscle post surgury & congestive heart failure diagnosis 2 mo later. So please if you think you have a problem with your heart keep checking. Women's heart problems often get missed. Thanks Lisa you are amazing & I love you 
19 Dec 10 by member: The Ninj
sounds to me like you are in a major transition time ... grieving, shock, recovery, and learning how to adjust to the realities of your body you have just discovered. I think you'll find a way to enjoy food, cooking, eating once again. It is only that it is all still so new ... so many helpful suggestions here I hesitate to add anything else other than to practice KINDNESS to yourself in this process. The only thing predictable in this life is change ... and many changes all at once can be quite overwhelming. Hang in there and welcome to FATSECRET!! 
19 Dec 10 by member: madaboutmoose
I love you Nina!!! TOWANDA!!!! 
19 Dec 10 by member: Lisa Online
Joy and more JOY! 
19 Dec 10 by member: gizmonel
Hi Ninj, I am Pixi and by the sounds of it you are just making your transformation from unhealthy to healthy. Please do not get frustrated and expect everything to change all at once, babysteps make the transition way easier than jumping in headfirst. I personally hate cooking for myself as well, I have picked up a few cook books and when I have to cook for myself is I cook like I am cooking for multiple people and then freeze it so that I have it at a later date. It makes meal planning a snap and it makes choosing food way easier. I also found my slow cooker is my best friend in the kitchen, it takes the stress of cooking away completely, I throw everything in and go to work by the time I get home my food is ready and it is very easy. As for the exercise - yes 30 minutes a day is preferable but what if you took a 10 minute walk around the block 3 times a day? when I started in August I started off pretty small a few 5 minutes walks around the block spaced through out the day and built up from there. Change is always hard, but this site really makes them easier the people are amazing, the support is wonderful and the information is priceless. Take care of yourself and just know that you are SO not alone in this!  
20 Dec 10 by member: pixidaisy
You are loved so dearly - created with a purpose and a plan for your life - gifted and talented in so many ways - filled with passion and knowledge and understanding! Love yourself today! Be filled with abundant joy!! Then give it away...:) Praying for you - and so happy you have joined us here on your journey! Always remember YOU ARE WORTH IT! Whatever changes, whatever habits, whatever differences are made to bring you to better health...YOU are worth it! He created you with a purpose and a plan for your life! Live with intention. Discover His purposes for you. Love like there's no tomorrow. For none of us are promised tomorrow. And appreciate your delicate body - for sustaining the life you've been given. Thank yourself for all your hard work - and pursue 'love and joy' in your life as if it were a full time job! The payoff is so much greater than anything you can get from mere food. Love. 
20 Dec 10 by member: jsfantome
Just remember your not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are so many loving, caring, And not to mention funny people here to help in any way. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you. Today is a new start to the new you. Bren 
20 Dec 10 by member: BHA
Nina why is the "Coat of Many Colors" reminding me so much of you. Something in our childhood and you used to talk about this...am I going over the deep end on this eclipsy day? Please let me know your thoughts...with love..Lisa 
20 Dec 10 by member: Lisa Online
Advice - follow your diet. Cut out carbs - there are low-carb pastas like Dreamfields. I am not doing Atkins now but a neighbor named Al is diabetic and he does follow his diet. There is something called Libby's fruit in a JAR that is see-through, sweetened with Splenda and I love it - and it's on sale at one of the near grocery stores now. That may be a good way to get fruit occasionally, ask your doctor. Exercise! Just go when you don't want to because once you're done with it you will feel better and it is one proven way to extend your life along with being thin... You can do it if you believe you can, slow and steady wins the race... 
21 Dec 10 by member: GlennM
Hi Ninj ~ my name is Barbara. I have been a FS member since January 2010. I stumbled on it accidentally looking for food calories. Since then I have made some wonderful buddies who have helped me, encouraged me and been "virtual friends" with me. We extend the same to you. I am not familiar with your particular heart problem, but I have had serious health issues (Cancer) which made me get serious with my weight too. I have lost 35 lbs, still have a few to go, but since we are all a "team" we can look for help from others. It is a journey, not a race. We have to take things 1 day at a time, sometimes 1 meat at a time. But whatever it takes, you are in the right place. Everyone above will be there for you whenever you need them. Again, welcome and feel free to journal anytime to us. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  
21 Dec 10 by member: The Next Number
Let it Go! Dance baby Dance... Where the heck have you been dancing under the moon this whole time? TOWANDA!!! 
22 Dec 10 by member: Lisa Online
Merry Christmas buddy! :-) 
25 Dec 10 by member: information

     
 

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