CAREbebe's Journal, 13 Jul 10

Maybe he's just a little insecure that you are determined to make changes, and he's not sure how it will affect your relationship? I agree he should be supporting you! 

Don't take his reactions to your decision to lose weight personally. I know he's sending mixed signals by wanting to use the same weight-loss bars/drinks you are, then turning around & seemingly sabotaging you, but you have to realize he can see that you are serious & he's trying to wrap his brain around how this is going to affect his life. Remember that the two of you have created this pattern of living that has allowed you both to be overweight - together. Your changes upset that balance so he has no choice but to change. It will seem like he's having psychotic mood swings at times but I guarantee you if you stay the course that will level out & he will have your back - for real. In the meantime, you HAVE to become firm in your decision & take ownership for it's success. No, he's not encouraging you to take walks with him, but that's not his job. Sure, it would be helpful, but it's still ultimately up to you to take the walk. Why wait on him to ask? Just go. Yes, he's trying to get you to eat fast food with him. Why? Because that's something you two have done together countless times. Is it up to him to stop asking, or up to you to start saying no? And I'm willing to bet that he sees the secret food as a courtesy to you, because he knows you'll be tempted. Do you REALLY think it's a sign he's been lying about dozens of other things too? I really don't. You CAN do this with or without his support, because you have US, girlfriend! It's just a matter of you making the decision to DO IT. Once you become firm in your decision, there will be nothing he or anyone else can do or say to stop you. None of this is about him. It's about creating a healthier YOU. Now let's do it!!! 

Sorry that was so long. And by the way, you are gorgeous. ;) ~ Kat 

I really can't say anymore that what Kat did. Just know that you do have a support system here on FS. I'm definitely willing and able to motivate and encourage you as much as you need. You do need to assess your dedication to your new life. With out the determination there it will be very difficult. Get it right mentally and it will come physically. It took me years to realize that. If I can help let me know.  

Oh and I second Kat's comment "And by the way, you are gorgeous. ;) ~ Kat". 

We actually talked it out yesterday after I posted this and he said that he'd like to create a FS acount and track his eating as well. Just after logging what he ate yesterday and seeing how much fat% and going over his RDI, he's got a journal of his own and we've been recording together. It's definitely helpful! Thanks for your support and your compliments! I don't really hear them that often :D 

How great that you guys can do this together! You know, I looked at your bio & the phrase "don't be afraid of me" really hit home. A big motivator for me is to get away from feeling judged by others out in public based on my size, & sometimes I do feel like people are afraid to deal with me, like being fat is contagious or something. I know part of that is just my own insecurity, but not all of it. I remember a time when most people I encountered made eye contact & were chatty in the way you sometimes talk to people in line with you at the store & somewhere along the way that turned into purposeful avoidance of eye contact & conversation. Anyway, I really love that this is a place where I can talk to others who have been where I've been, felt how I've felt, & want what I want...a longer, healthier, fuller life! :D 

Im glad he is on board now! My husband was the same way, he wasnt much support "Youll quit the gym after 2 weeks I know it!". Now he's on a diet/exercise kick and we're both on FS and great support for each other. Im having a great time doing this with him, and it's become something we are both really involved in. It's great!