ChallengeMember's Journal, 01 May 10

ok reading your journal... you might find this amusing.. one time I needed a test done at like noon.. and I was not supposed to eat for 12 hours before hand. I did really well.. made the kids breakfast (none for me) packed my husbands lunch (none for me) fed my kids snacks (none for me) then I was getting ready to hop in the shower to get ready to go thinking to myself.. man after the test I am going to go get blah to eat... and as I was thinking it... I realized I was chewing.. WHAT THE HECK... how did that food get into my mouth.. what is it.. As I was spitting it out in the garbage I realized it was a pretzel.. I had just mindlessly eaten some pretzels off of my kids plates as I was cleaning up their snack dishes.. Talk about mindless eating.. good grief.. (the test went fine just so you dont worry ;) ) 

I call the habit you are trying to break "fat people thinking" which is also what got me to my highest weight. That's things like "There aren't many cookies left, may as well finish the bag." or "I don't want this last bit of food to go to waste so I'll just eat it" or "I have to accept every offer of food to be polite" etc. Another thing that helped me is to classify to myself WHY I wanted it. So if I was standing in the kitchen thinking about eating something, I'd say to myself "Why do I want this" and if the answer was something other than physical hunger, I'd rethink it. Just delaying acting on an impulse can make a huge impact :) 

It's funny--I have definitely gotten past some of the "fat people thinking" scenarios you mentioned. Those aren't that hard for me...except for maybe accepting food to be polite...OR to not have so much attention put on you. Have you ever noticed that you can't just decline food without it being such a big deal??? Last night, when I only drank 1/4 of my milkshake, so many people were so concerned. What's wrong? Didn't you like it? Yes, I only wanted that much. Or if you refuse cake at a gathering...oh, are you on a diet? Why can't someone refuse food without it being a federal case? SOMETIMES I just accept it to not have to be on the hot seat about it...but try not to eat it all anyway. And then sometimes I know that if I accept it, I'll probably eat it...so it just depends on the day. My biggest problem would probably be the mindless eating like Ceebee described...or the "It's there--it must be for you to eat" thinking. I've never been much of a "I don't want to let it go to waste" person...my husband is though. Such a martyr. ;) Your idea to ask why is a good one...I'm going to try that one. 

When I first started all of this stuff I would try and decide how I was going to deal with this person or that person.. My family is very loving and when I started saying no to stuff.. it would become a "federal case" so since it was family.. I felt really comfortable taking the situation head on.. trying to keep it breezy and with my own flair for what I call humor. Then my family being the loving people that they are started trying to make things for me... special.. which is very kind.. but maybe what you feel is healthy... I dont see as healthy.. so I had to navigate that.. yikes that was tough. I told everyone to just do as they would do normally cause they never know.. maybe today with them.. I want to take the day off.. or maybe I am going to have a bite of this or that as apposed to a whole serving because a taste is all I want (1/4 milkshake) It has taken some time for me not to feel weird when I come to a cook out with my own brats or huge portabella mushrooms. (I always try to bring enough to share and because of that everyone found out grill shrooms are tasty and my food does not taste like"diet food") I have told them all that I dont expect them to change what they eat just because I am there.. no more than they should expect me to change what I eat just because they are there. I have two small kids who love treats and I have managed just fine in the face of those temptations.. some days I do better than others.. but the proof is in the results. I know I will not lose weight by being perfect.. I will lose weight by being persistent. I too have taken the cake just to avoid a scene.. not really a scene but extra unwanted attention.. then try and dispose of the evidence before my resolve crumbles and I eat the whole thing.. it is a battle every day.. keep strong!! fight the good fight!