You are correct! They are jealous and worried that you will no longer be their fat friend who doesn’t steal attention away from them. I used to be very thin and people were super nice, then when I gained weight people suddenly stopped being as kind to me. It really didn’t bother me that much, but their is a definite shift in the world when it comes to weight gain and weight loss. Anyone who does not support your efforts to lose weight and be healthier is no friend of yours. Btw-I am 5’4, 42yo and now way in at 177, I started at around 250. I have not had many people not support my weight loss or even comment unless it’s positive. But I have a girl I worked with and she lost a significant amount of weight and she had several friends and even family members who were very nasty to her while she was trying to lose weight, I felt so sorry for her. Life is hard enough without your “friends” being you biggest enemy. Good luck, sweetie! If nothin else use their little comments to fuel the drive inside you to continue on your weight loss journey. While your friends might look better than you on the outside now, their insides will always be ugly! 👹 You do you!
23 Aug 22 by member: Jessrob
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Thank you! I just started NOOM a week ago so now I'm using both.
23 Aug 22 by member: smithe2383
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I tried Noom several years ago, it was okay. But I really just like logging my calories and trying to walk a few days a week. But do whatever works for you!
23 Aug 22 by member: Jessrob
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Thanks Jessrob. Thank you for understanding. Great work on your oart! Congrats on the weight loss! That's super inspiring.
23 Aug 22 by member: smithe2383
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my friends all did that
when I was lifting alot they'd take cheap jabs at me constantly to make me feel worse. now that I stopped they don't jab anymore.
23 Aug 22 by member: zach867
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zach867 - That's terrible! I'm so sorry. I know how terrible it feels. Did you ever talk to them about their behavior? I've started just keeping my distance.
23 Aug 22 by member: smithe2383
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Oh yes! I know exactly how you feel. I have gone through it many time throughout my whole life. Not necessarily friends but more family and even partners. It’s so ridiculous! Just remember it’s not you. It’s their own issues. Their own insecurities. Their own personal unhappiness within themselves and their own bodies. You keep doing you! You do not need nor want anyone’s approval, compliment, affirmation or even friendship if they feel threatened, intimidated, jealous, envious about your own personal motivation, stamina, drive, perseverance, strength, self love, self worth etc.. In Spanish there’s a saying… Mejor sola que mal acompañada. Better alone then with wrong company. 🥰
23 Aug 22 by member: DebbieEDuranAZ
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DebbieEDuranAZ - Thank you for telling me your experience. And you're right, I really don't care what anyone thinks about how I look. I care what I think and what I feel and that's it. They can't seem to understand that I'm not doing this for other people, it's for ME!
23 Aug 22 by member: smithe2383
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Do NOT think this is about your social standing! This is about YOU AND YOUR HEALTH!! If this is how your "friends" act, maybe they aren't friends!
That said, I absolutely agree that size matters! There is a definite difference in how an obese person is treated. I was morbidly obese for decades! I have had very short periods of what you call "moderate" obesity. I am still obese, but I don't consider it moderate.... I am 13 pounds from being simply "overweight". Anyway, I digress, I know for a fact that there is a prejudice against fat people! We are viewed as lazy, stupid, and maybe self indulgent? Definitely seen as LAZY AND / OR STUPID. The only people (person) who has not been 100% supportive is my PA. Can you believe it? I was 216 and her comment was: "maybe your sweet spot is 218 or even 220?" Are you kidding me? I would not stay on my new way of eating? I should GAIN 4 pounds??? No way!!!
23 Aug 22 by member: 3dkids2
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Thanks, 3dkids2. You're completely right! These women have never been obese. Two of them (there's three) are naturally super skinny and tried to compare my situation to their gaining five lbs. They have absolutely no idea what it's like and have the gall to call me a liar! Seriously!
23 Aug 22 by member: smithe2383
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BTW 3dkids2, congrats on the weight loss!
23 Aug 22 by member: smithe2383
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Thank you, Smithe! It has taken a long time to get where I am now and I will continue til I get to a weight where I am comfortable. Im not as focused on my weight number anymore as I am on my actual body and how my clothes fit. Be proud of what you have accomplished and do it for you! This is NOT a diet, it’s a new way of life and there is no time limit on your weight loss journey, just be healthy and your weight will come off. You can do it!!
23 Aug 22 by member: Jessrob
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I had the reverse issue. A whole group of friends that I have known for 25 years have all developed obesity and diabetes over the years with multiple ailments including heart attack, stroke and death and yet my way of eating (portion control and moderation) really became an issue. It got to the point that our socialization strictly involved eating out together because they were no longer capable of doing any of the outdoor activities we used to enjoy together. These lunch outings became very uncomfortable and I could see that this was going nowhere. This last year I exited 3 of them from my life. It just no longer worked for me. So I hear you. You do not need anyone’s support but your own. You cannot force people to see the benefit of what you are doing. Step away from them a bit and see if a little time and distance will change anything. If it doesn’t, cut the cord. You will have lost nothing.
23 Aug 22 by member: Kenna Morton
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Kenna Morton - You're right. I've stepped back from them. I'm so sorry about your friends too. It's terrible to watch someone in a downward spiral when they don't care about helping themselves.
23 Aug 22 by member: smithe2383
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It totally sucks to come to the realization that your friends aren't really your friends. It's always amazed me, people's reactions to other's health/fitness/weight-loss goals. Do you go to the gym? Is there any way for you to network with others who share your goals, or at the very least, who can support your goals? I know it's hard - I'm a 40 year-old (current) SAHM who likes to meal prep and go to CrossFit. It's hard to make friends when your hobbies don't include booze and food (outside of special occasions!)
23 Aug 22 by member: are1981
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Sorry to hear how shallow your "friends" are behaving. There has been different times in my life that I've outgrown people and found it necessary to leave them behind. Especially people who really like to behave superior to build themselves up. No one should ever yell at you for bettering yourself. Or for any non-emergency reason. Never! Maybe it's time to set some strict boundaries with them. Or leave them in your dust!
23 Aug 22 by member: saigegirl
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I would say get new friends. They are not your real friends if they're acting like that. You don't need to be surrounded by negativity like that.
24 Aug 22 by member: RN16
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Need new friends? I would be willing to talk and be your friend I think we all need a buddy on weight loss journey
24 Aug 22 by member: felicia4288
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Trying to change to a healthy lifestyle is one of the hardest decisions you will make in your lifetime. Requires discipline, commitment, and tenacity. If your friends don’t respect and support your decision, you need new friends asap. They are always gonna be shallow and you deserve people who really care about you. Keep up the good work dude, we got your back 😤👍🏻.
24 Aug 22 by member: Mike Mac 72
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24 Aug 22 by member: gage4ever
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