marhop27's Journal, 24 Jun 13

It's such a vicious cycle, isn't it? I do so well and maintain positive thoughts and then every once in a while (er, um, more often than not), I gorge because I don't feel as though I'm worth it. I use a random excuses to not lose weight. Recently, I saw where I had some extra flab on my arm (from the weight loss) and thought, "Holy cow! I'll never look good even if I do lose weight! I'll need plastic surgery (that I'll never be able to afford)!" The excuse is pathetic and just one I use to allow myself to eat a 2000 cal meal. However, I have first hand experience seeing my husband lose 160 pounds in 10 months, yet he exercised enough (about 1.5 hours a day) to not have any extra flabby skin. AND, I have "buddies" on here who have done the same (extreme weight loss, no surgery, tight body). So, my excuse is a flimsy one. Wow, did I rant enough for you? I just really related to your last sentence... Good luck. We can do this together! 

Hey, thanks for commenting on my post. I just get frustrated so easily. My friends will wanna go out to eat and they eat whatever they want and I feel like I should too, ya know? I feel like an outcast when they are scarfing down steaks and loaded baked potatoes and here I am with my house salad and lemon water lol I can count calories, I'm over that. I can low carb it, whatever..and 5 months later I'm back to eating little debbies and drinking a 2 liter of coke a day. So I talking to a pastor friend of mine the other day, who also struggles with weight and he said the trick that he's found that has worked best is TO NOT DIET!!! Sounds great, right? What he says he does is when he goes out to eat, he makes a wiser choice. If your buddies are having steak and loaded potatoes, you choose the grilled chicken and baked sweet potato...if you want a snack, go for the baked chips or nuts instead of the snickers or kit kat you really want. It really made sense to me to hear him tell me this..If I just convince myself I'm not really on a diet, maybe I will actually be successful at it. It's worth a shot, anyway! 

I know, I reeeaaaalllly dislike the word "diet" even though I use it often in my inner dialogue. I want to get to the point where I eat just for fueling my body and not as a emotional treat (whether I'm happy/stressed/feeling down). It's funny that you say you would drink a 2 liter coke a day, because that was me! I would drink about four 20oz bottles of diet pepsi a day. I now cut out soda and only drink it on RARE occasions. I will say that I lost 15-20 pounds within the first 2 weeks just doing that one step. But speaking of substitutes, I had to have something to fool myself, so I found that I really like sparkling water. In particular, Clear American from Walmart (Mandarin Orange tastes like Sunkist) and Sparkling Ice from Kroger (Peach Nectarine and Crisp Apple are my faves). Man, oh, man, those have been my best friends. I also can relate with going out with friends to restaurants. Being the big girl in the booth (um, can we not get a table??) and eating healthy does make one self conscious!