lulu60's Journal

lulu60's Profile | Weight History

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12 April 2010

No I havent forgotten you all and have restarted like I said I would...and I think I have been doing pretty good, even if I must say so myself. look its not easy at all and most of you know this but with perseverence and faith I can go a lot further. I dont always get to use the internet and computer therefore my entries may vary from daily to once a week or so, so dont think I have skipped the country.
This past week was tough, going from eating 3 x a day to eating every 3 hours....this according to a eating plan that a dietician gave me a long time ago. tis very easy to follow and the whole idea is to plan the meals and snax the day before or in the morning so that you know what you are going to eat. difficulty in this is that unless you have planned in full and prepared the days meals you are basically stuffed if you happen to be out of the house or on the road - so its a case of been prepared. I do however find it too much eating every 3 hours because I often forget and have to learn to get into the habit -*lol I have even programmed my phone to remind me to eat at these times - how silly is that - but it works* lol
I still however cannot get around much. my legs are still feeling too heavy and wobbly. I cannot walk around by myself as I am afraid of falling. sometimes it feels like my balance is out of synch, so I basically have to wait for someone to be home with me to walk outside. no excuses here, if the legs dont want to work they dont. Have been having lots of weird feelings (*dizziness, lightheadedness, ears sore, headaches, not able to focus so well, tummy problems, etc*) so dont know if the body is readjusting, what do you guys think?
other than that, I am ok. the weekend was a bit disasterous in that I did not stick strictly to the eating programme in that I did not eat every 3 hours and I DID HAVE A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE.....I admit that I am still weak and am working on the will power every day. One day at a time is what this is all about. I dont want to be heavy anymore and I want to start having a life again where I can get about and do things......and that is my goal for the timebeing. I have not weighed myself because I dont have a scale to weigh on and I havent measured myself. I am only going according to the way my clothes feel on me and how I feel the day, so recording weight is not on the agenda for the time being. patience Lulu patience.....we will succeed.
does anyone out there ever get impatient with the weight loss or weight gain?
thanks again to all you guys and gals out there who help us and each other out....best way to achieve...
with blessings in abundance
live happily
me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(3 comments)

05 April 2010

ok, so I havent been attending at all....not caring with the weight, what to eat, what to drink, just feeling blah...and I know that only I can right this wrong so I am going to start on the journey AGAIN!!! - one day is one day that I will get it right and then I will see how easy it was in the first place....some of you might say its not easy at all and I totally agree, but if you in my shoes at this moment in time you will see exactly what I mean.
I do this to myself most of the time - well alright - ALL OF THE TIME - and now its time to do the right thing.
I am not getting any younger, and here is a programme that is so available to us all to help us along the way and I just dont get it...tsk tsk...and I am not saying this lightly....I know that its getting to be beyond a joke now.
This weekend I really got a scare - pain in the left side under the boob going into the middle of the chest, afraid to move, to eat, to sleep, to drink, man, this is for the birds....I know that I am enormous and I really dont need anyone to point this out to me - but will someone please let my brain know....somehow brain and I dont seem to be on the same wavelength...this is very scary stuff and I am getting worse every day...the legs are getting weaker, the body heavier and the heart sorer (if there is such a word)....please brain kick into gear and give me some help here.
Almost feels like a little devil sitting on my shoulders and in my head saying *Yes its ok - go on one little bit - thats it, now another and another.....* and before you know it you have finished what you were trying to avoid. Devil thoughts be gone from this body and brain.
Heart start working again so that we can conquer this demon together. lets get it on. yeah man....
so my friends, I am going to start my journey once again and thank you all for your encouraging words, be it directly to me or just in this programme.....every little bit helps along the way.
Blessings in Abundance
Lulu.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

DESTINY IS NO MATTER OF CHANCE, IT IS A MATTER OF CHOICE - (my choice is to loose this weight and be strong so that my destiny is that I live longer and love life to the fullest.) IT NEEDS TO BE ACHIEVED.....(I am counting on myself to achieve this...with of course the blessings of the Lord) AMEN.

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
168 kg	2 kg	8 kg	Not Applicable

(3 comments) steady weight

20 March 2010

today
is
not
a
good
day.....

it began feeling awful - more scared if you like, had funny emotions running around in the tummy, bp was a bit low at 5am this morning - was having what resembles a mild panic attack, legs are hurting, praying doesnt seem to be helping, yet, in my heart I know it is...feel like my eyeballs are pulling skew, just feel crappy and downright
d
e
p
r
e
s
s
e
d
a
n
d
n
o
w
h
e
r
e
t
o
g
o
b
u
t
d
o
w
n

how can one feel so low yet try and do what is good for you? how can one make one feel better and enjoy the life that is set out for us? is it not perhaps ones destiny to stay fat..???? after trying, trying, trying and not succeeding???

is one just feeling sorry for ones self??? and is this normal??? i just dont know....seems to me that one has a lot of emotional baggage on ones shoulders...hmmmmmmm.....could this be a blockage of some kind?

all I want to do is eat eat eat eat eat and eat....me thinks I may have a major problem looming ahead...and it doesnt help that the body is getting bigger and bigger and bigger....to the point now where I find that I cannot bend my left leg like before and its difficult to get to my ankles and feet.....ag this is not right....

signing off before i really say something horrendously foolish
love to my buddies
me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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16 March 2010

oh my goodness....I just checked and discovered that it is 2 weeks since I last wrote....thats bad. I cannot deny and will not deny that the past two weeks have been totally disasterous and henceforth I will not be recording a weight loss or gain because I know of neither.
We all tend to want what we cannot have or get and boy oh boy this has been my case these past weeks - and if by chance I have achieved to get something I have scoffed it down like there was no tomoro....almost afraid that I might loose out on something if I didnt eat or drink it immediately....sorry state of affairs I am - I know, I know, and believe it or not, every evening and every morning I say to myself.....MYSELF, TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY AND TODAY WE ACHIEVE OUR GOAL....and what happens....its all flies out the window....HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP ME PLEASE
We have to discover ways and means for one to learn self dissepline? (eek the spelling is as bad as the weight...lol...at least I can grin to myself.)and willpower...I seem to start off ok and then it all just vanishes...tsk tsk tsk...
Are we never happy as we are? what if we are supposed to be the size, the look, the height, the stubbiness, the ugliness that we are? is there perhaps an answer to this...oh come on man, this all sounds ridiculous and I am just rambling on like a mad woman....people please dont take this to heart...these are just thoughts that are in my mind and I need answers....
till later then
blessings to you all
me...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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02 March 2010

not going so good afterall.........................arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

need to buck up my ideas or catastrophe will occur ................it is written in the stars..

here is to picking myself up, dusting myself off and starting all over again............yeah man.

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
168 kg	2 kg	8 kg	Not Applicable

(2 comments) steady weight

lulu60's Weight History

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