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befree
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Weight History
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02 October 2008
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
124.0 kg
2.1 kg
56.0 kg
Poorly
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Losing 5.1 kg a Week
01 October 2008
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
124.7 kg
1.4 kg
56.7 kg
Poorly
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Losing 3.2 kg a Week
30 September 2008
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
125.2 kg
0.9 kg
57.2 kg
Poorly
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Gaining 0.7 kg a Week
13 September 2008
I have been without a computer at home for quite a few months and have been accessing this site through my work one. However, with all the rules around personal use, I find it difficult to get back here regularly. Anyways, I pick up my new desktop on Monday, so I should have more consistent access.
My food has been hooped of course. That is up until today. I didn't really intend on waking up and wanting to make different choices, however, that's kind of what is happening. I had a better breakfast than I have had in a while (no chocolate bars). As well, I had a good lunch and even picked up some healthy food for snacks. I have even planned my supper.
Planning is a huge issue for me - that and follow through. It is like I rebel against planning. Thoughts like "Maybe I won't want that later", "what if that is not enough", "well how I am supposed to know where I will be around dinner time", etc, etc. That part of my internal dialogue belongs to the 'food addict'. It is the same voice that is hyper-critical and hyper-active.
Today I am willing to listen for the calmer, more peaceful voice (one that doesn't get lot of airtime). To do that, I need to stop, breathe, and stay quiet.
Gotta run.
(2 comments)
03 September 2008
After school supply shopping and visiting with my son, I just sat on the couch and did nothing. Turned out I really need to do laundry. Why do I make things so difficult on myself?
Went to the doctor's today. Again, if I just lost some more weight, she would be happier. I bet if I did go down to 250 (the goal we set today), she still wouldn't be happy. Well why would she be? I would still be quite overweight. I know she is a doctor and is concerned for my health, I just tired of playing the game.
Tonight I am going to go to dinner with a friend from far away, whom I haven't seen in about 8 or 9 years. Of course, I have put on alot of weight and it makes me nervous to see her again. The most nerve racking part of it though is that my house is in such a state of despair that I will not be bringing her by there. I am worried that the subject will come up and that she will want to see it before she goes. She has to be back on a ferry by 9:00 so if I stall long enough, then.... Probably won't come up anyways, I'll just worry about it (and then of course eat) for the rest of the day.
I am going crazy with food and spending the last couple of days. I did manage to pack a breakfast yesterday, however that was the last of good eating. I have been eating lots and lots of 'bad carbs'. I am hoping that by journalling about it, instead of hiding it, I will get back on track somehow.
Have great day everyone.
(7 comments)
befree's Weight History
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