squery's Journal

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02 February 2012

Weight: Lost so far: Still to go: Diet followed:
74.7 kg 12.9 kg 8.9 kg Reasonably Well
   Add Comment Gaining 0.2 kg a Week

26 January 2012

Went to the gym this morning. I always feel so great when I get my workout knocked out right away and it gives me an energy boost to start my day. It's just SO HARD to roll out of bed in time to do it. One secret, and laugh if you want, is that I sleep in my gym clothes. That way after my alarm goes off (and after one snooze), I can pop right up, gather what I need and stumble to the bus stop in less time. The downside is that I will have to buy lunch today because I didn't give myself enough time to pack something this morning. I could've packed something to bring last night. Planning is key!

Also, I just started using this new app on my ipod called Gain Fitness based on a suggested from another FS member that I saw on a lifting post. For people like me who tend to stick to the same lifting exercises that they know and rarely get creative in weight lifting routines, it's great! It customizes weight workouts based on how long you want to work out and what muscle groups you want to work on. Good stuff!

25 January 2012

Weight: Lost so far: Still to go: Diet followed:
74.4 kg 13.2 kg 8.6 kg Reasonably Well
   Add Comment Losing 0.3 kg a Week

24 January 2012

So I've lived in Seattle for a little over 3 years and during that entire time have only had one steady boyfriend. We have this thing here called "The Seattle Freeze" which is the phenomenon of cliqueyness and isolationism that makes it so difficult for people to make friends or date people who are not in their immediate circle of acquaintances. I've experienced it some, but I fancy myself to be a nice, open and outgoing person and I know not all Seattleites are shy jerks so I go back and forth of whether the Seattle Freeze is actually real.

That being said, I've been doing the online dating thing for a couple years now and only one time did anything really "stick" (I dated one guy I met online for about 6 months). To be honest, I always kind of attributed it to my weight. I figured the men were disappointed with the way I looked in person versus the photos on my profile which were not, by the way, deceiving. All recent and at least one showing my full body. This online dating thing has really taken a toll on my self esteem and made me wonder if my weight and looks were what was keeping me from finding someone special.

So I've lost almost 30 pounds. And yes it's been a huge confidence booster and friends have commented on how much happier I seem to be. I continue to go out on dates with people from online dating sites with minimal luck... Met some nice guys but nothing clicks really. So I went out with this guy on Saturday night who is from Ohio and has only been living here for a little over a year (Not a Seattleite in the least). Super nice, friendly, musical, funny, we got along great on our date. As it sometimes does, the subject of me still trying to lose some weight came up. I make it a point to bring it up because I want whoever I'm dating to know it's important to me and to scare off anyone who wouldn't want to date a girl with a few extra pounds. His reaction surprised me.

He said in an IM conversation after our date, "You have mad Italian curves and I'm all about it. I can't stand anorexic 2D chicks. If you want to lose 20 pounds, you go girl. Just don't go losing those lovely lady parts. You do what makes you feel good about you. If that means 20 pounds, then cool. But do it to make yourself happy, not to please some dude that only cares about your outward appearance. There are lots of nice bodies in the world but what good are they without brains?"

So this hit me in two ways... At first I was a bit offended by being defined as "curvy." Curvy to me has such a negative connotation, as it is often what severely overweight and unhealthy, yet confident women call themselves. I don't want to be called "curvy." I want to be slender and slim. But then that second part... Do what makes you feel good about you. And the part about having brains. He's very much right. I know this weight loss is ultimately for me and to make myself healthier and more confident but damnit if it all didn't start with a guy telling me to my face that I needed to lose weight, then walking out on me when I began to cry over his comment. It began because I wanted to show him and people like him that I could lose the weight and I could be sexier, prettier, more desirable.

But I think what I've come to realize over time, and what was solidified by this recent date's very poignant outlook on bodies and what is attractive... The significant others who you want in your life are those who think you are sexy for who you are, what you know and how you live your life, not what you look like and how much you weigh.

So... I'm going to go out with him again. :)


20 January 2012



squery's Weight History


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