Chants's Journal, 04 Feb 08

Being married the 2nd time myself, and having to deal w/a step son and his wicked mother, I can relate. Two things that I have learned. One, they live w/their crazy mother and you try to do your best on the weekends that you do get them, that there is another life/style other than that one. Treat them no differently than the other kids (if you have your own). 2. Even though you will never understand what your husband so in that crazy beotch, lol - you will want her to know that you are the happiest person in the world w/your man (that really pisses them off). They never go away, but as the kids get older (my step-son is now 18) they will chose the life that best suits them. I am sad to say that he chose his mother's life style and hasn't been to our house in over 2 years. He still calls every now & then. When he does call, I treat him no different than before. Just remember, they are just kids, and they didn't ask for their parents. I've never had a tough time with step kids, I grew up with step sisters, step brothers, so I already knew what it was like to be on that end of it. Someday he might realize that he has missed out on a lot, and the door will still be open for him. 2. 98% of the time, any issues that came up, I had to sit back and let me husband deal with her. It's between them and not me (as hard as it was at times), but that's the way it had to be. My husband does the same thing and we just give each other support. I only ever got into it once w/his ex and told her the way it was and that I hated the way she treated her son. I do believe that was the last time she spoke to me. She totally avoided me and I liked that. I did let my step-son know exactly what was said and apologized to him if hurt his feelings. No matter what, it's still his mom and I'm still the "step-mom". He took it really well and even thanked me for it. Sorry for the long reply, but just know you're not the only one that's had to deal with the wicked ex's. 

YIKES!! Honey, you need to be careful with someone so unpredictable. You know that old saying bout... "more bees with honey"?? WORK IT!! lol Serious... let her "think" that she's right and that she's winning.... but just go about whatever it is that you and your family need to do in the mean time. (I know, easy for me to say, huh?) As far as the little threat is concerned... I cannot recommend enough that you start a journal and write down and DATE each and every word said between the two of you and have it for a "proof" that you were threatened, if and when it may happen. I certainly hope that she is like most bullys and just all talk, ... but this day and age, you cannot be too careful. Avoid her at all cost and keep communications to a minimum and things may settle down a bit. So what if she "thinks" she wins?? What would it hurt you as long as you and your family are doing well? I know I don't know details, but as an outsider with not much info... that's the best advice I can give ya. Keep up the great work, and be sure to get enough good calories in and eat well!! BURN RUBBER BABY!! 

Thanks ladies for those replies, both gave me rather insightful advice. Mrs. H, that poor kid at 6 already understands what life he has and what life he could have if he lived with us and compares things all the time which really gets up her nose to the point of her threatening like she did. I have no respect for her what so ever and have on one occasion told her to her face what I think of her, her lifestyle and the way she treats her son... I got spat at! (very lovely girl hey?). Harry also understands at his young age that mommy does not like Chants and so has learned not to mention me in any way shape or form which I believe is wrong for him to have to do. I've had to step away from the situation now as it causes me far too much heartache and emotional anguish but I will NOT put up with a person of 23 disrespecting me of aged 30! Bully, I am letting her think she's winning as I've ceased all contact with her - she no longer knows where we live, she has no contact details of mine for home, work or mobile and the only way she can contact either one of us is on my husbands mobile! We've been advised by the police, as i had an harrasment order against her last year because of the threat she made, to keep a journal of every single text on our mobiles and on our emails just in case her idle threats become a reality! We are going to in the future, get a lawyer to fight for full custody of Harry but for right now, I'll let her think she's winning! Thanks ladies for the advice i really appreciate it! You've made me think a little bit clearer than I was last night! I love having people like you in my life!  

I have no experience with this stuff, but I'm sending positive energy your way! 

Good luck my lovely! she sounds like a right bitch good luck for the future and your step son you obviously care about him a great deal. 

Hey there Chants! Hang in there for sure! I love the advice you got and what you yourself are doing to keep things going in the right direction! You are so strong and positive in the face of all that terrible stuff! I'm also sending ou as much positive energy as I can and hoping that tomorrow is a much better day! Let me know if you need anything for sure my fellow Yellow Lamborghini!!