Whatever happened to body confidence?Feeling self-conscious of your body can be terribly destructive. It can range from simply covering up at the beach to feeling so ashamed that you can barely bring yourself to leave the house for fear of being seen in public. It's crippling.
I've certainly endured my fair share of pain through a lack of confidence in going outside in public looking like this. I hate shopping, I hate fashion, I avoid pub and clubs because I don't want to be surrounded by skinny chicks, and my style is very conservative. I even feel ashamed to be seen by my partner, who insists he thinks I'm wonderful the way I am.
Body confidence and youngstersWhat I find really heartbreaking though, is when I look back at photos of me in my teens. I remember feeling truly awful about my body, hating how I looked, wishing I could look beautiful like the other girls, feeling FAT. I remember having these feelings when I was only 13 years old. Worse still, is that any half-hearted attempt I made to find something I liked about my body was instantly stamped down.
I wasn't fat.
That's the kicker. Not only was I not fat, but I wasn't ugly either. I mean don't get me wrong, I wasn't super-model material or anything. I was, however, a normal girl who was pretty enough and healthy before I started trying silly starvation diets. Why on earth did I not appreciate what I had at the time?
I'll tell you why - society tells us it's wrong to be content with just being normal. We're bombarded with images of the perfection we're supposed to achieve from such an early age that we have no hope of holding onto the truth that we are wonderful just as we are. We live in a society obsessed with achieving physical perfection, and those perpetuating the issue are making some serious money out of people's struggle to attain this perfection (FYI, this is the reason I refuse to pay out for any food or other product clearly aimed at the dieting masses...I will not fund such destructive industries). It should not be allowed to continue.
The video below was something I came across recently that rather aptly sums up the image fed to us by the media, in my opinion. It really made me stop and think about what we're letting these companies do to both our children and ourselves:
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DnJQJFlyDGY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Weight is only really one part of the story. Nevertheless, how can we possibly expect people to lose weight successfully and healthfully if we continue to guilt them into still feeling bad about their body? This will only lead to more overweight people losing a significant amount of weight only to become anorexic or bulimic instead. How are we supposed to know when to stop, if we're still being told that we're not good enough and that we need their products to keep going? It's dangerous stuff.
Learn to have a healthy body imageThankfully there are people who are trying to fight back against the media & diet industries' portrayal of perfection to which your average man and woman is expected to aspire. There was even a recent article that hit the headlines called "
Plus Size Models: What is Wrong with them Anyway?" which sparked many discussions on healthy body images.
However, I think the best way to reclaim your body is to take a realistic look at what a normal body is. Admittedly it's not often we get a very good look at an "average" body, but when we get the opportunity to look at normal, everyday people we can suddenly see the wide variety of body shapes and body types out there in the world...all of them beautiful. It's somehow easier to see the beauty in someone else than it is in ourselves of course...
Which is why I recommend visiting
My Body Gallery: What Real Women Look Like. It is seriously one of the best websites I have ever come across and I keep going back to it again and again. Basically, the site is just pictures of normal women's bodies. You can even submit your own, it's anonymous. The huge array of pictures of normal bodies is a wonderfully refreshing change from the airbrushed, flawless models that we normally see.
Now here's the clever part...you can put in a height, weight and body shape and see what real women matching those stats actually look like! I've done it for my start weight, my goal weight, my current weight, and every variation I can think of in between! Honestly, I love it. You seriously have to give it a go. Well, unless your male. The project is in its infancy and only covers female bodies at present so the gentlemen of FS will have to look elsewhere for a candid portrayal of the male form. Sorry guys! :/
Anyway, it strikes me that I've never truly realised what my body looked like to other people. Particularly now that I've lost 60lbs, I seem even more confused than ever about the reality of my body. I keep thinking I'm much bigger than I am and struggle to even recognise myself in photos because I'm looking for something completely different! However,
My Body Gallery has shown me that not only are all these other women beautiful, but helped me realise that I actually look like that too.
I think it's hugely important to have a realistic, healthy body image. Having a distorted view of our own body is only going to make our journeys towards better health much more difficult. How awful would it be to finish the journey and
still feel just as bad about your body??? We should appreciate all our good points, no matter what size or shape we are, and understand the difference between faked "perfection" and real beauty.
So I urge you to take just a few minutes out of your day to visit this awesome site and understand the natural diversity in bodies that should be appreciated and celebrated.
PS - thank you to the anonymous girl of my height and shape who submitted a photo of herself to
My Body Gallery showing the loose skin around her stomach (clearly the result of extensive weight loss). You have no idea how much you've helped me. I now realise that I can still be beautiful, even if left with the scars of obesity. I may never be "perfect", but I would be over the moon if I looked as beautiful as you. Thank you.