largelassy's Journal, 02 Aug 16

I have fallen off the wagon and it is so so scary....binge eating in middle of night.....have been ordering food in again.....keeping trigger foods in the house. I have almost gained back all the weight I lost. I am waiting for bariatric surgery but it feels like it will never come. I thought I may be able to do this alone but I can see now it is a losing battle. I need the surgery. I have mood disorder plus so much chronic pain and exhaustion that it makes it doubly hard to do. I suffer from severe insomnia these days and so I get so anxious in the night and by 4 or 5 a.m. of not sleeping I go down and binge eat till I feel stuffed and it makes me sleepy. I am even on meds for sleeping but they are not working well. I am living on so little sleep. i have something going on that is new in the last few months were i suddenly lose all energy....and almost keal over even walking short distances. i am going to see a specialist this month to see if there is any help for me. i feel like i did when i had cancer and radiation only even weaker when i try to walk any distance. so confused. and it isn't my weight because i was this weight when i could walk before and even do the elliptical.....

153.8 kg Lost so far: 0.5 kg.    Still to go: 78.9 kg.    Diet followed: Poorly.