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Okay, so here's a little story I'm not proud of telling, but I want to share my thoughts anyway.
My BF also used to be chubby, until he met his super hot spanish (now ex) girlfriend and decided to become fit for her. Note: It's not my assumption, he really decided to go on a strict diet and hit the gym for her, because he felt his looks are not good enough -he admitted it when we had a conversation once about healthy eating. Well, he made it, he transformed his body from the average chubby gamer guy to the ripped and fit gym guy. It sure was hard, as many who have been through this can relate to the struggle, but I have to admit he's a VERY disciplined person with strong will and achieved it an a very short time.
Anyways, to keep the story short, today I asked him whether he's into hitting the gym again with me (he hasn't been there for almost a year now) and his answer was something like "meh, I have long lost this burning desire about working out, I doubt if I'll ever go again".
Well...I don't wanna be the paranoid here, and of course I respect his choice, but.. I don't think he gives a sh*t about his looks now that he's being with me. Just because I happen to be average with an imperfect body and not extremely hot, he doesn't need to try this hard anymore. I guess I am not challenging him as his previous sexy GF to maintain his appearance.
I like him the way he is, I don't mind if he works out or not.. it's the ignorance that hurts me, and the feeling I get that I am inferior.
Not to mention the supposed-to-be-funny comments I get every now and then about my weight - he definitely wants me to slim down and he shows it in every possible way.
As it seems,to him it's fair not to try at all, but expect from me to change. Seriously?
#endofdrama
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 Comments
That's straight up shenanigans. If he doesn't think you are good enough for him how you are right now, then you're the one who deserves better. And you might want to talk to him about how his comments make you feel. I don't know about you, but this is something that would fester inside me until I blurted it out in an argument, which is the least ideal time. But hopefully you are a more reasonable person than me.
19 Jan 16 by member: notelaine
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He has to do it for himself, nobody else. I found when I got into shape for somebody else, it never stuck
19 Jan 16 by member: Sugar Waffle
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Panmarchip, you are a beautiful young lady. Stay true to yourself and do what makes you happy. In the end, we are the only one's responsibility for our own happiness. As for your BF, he'll see you become a better version of yourself and will want to join in with your exciting, wonderful, unfolding healthy lifestyle journey!
19 Jan 16 by member: Sugar Waffle
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I agree with the comments above. Also, maybe it's that HE just doesn't feel inferior anymore that has caused his slacking.
19 Jan 16 by member: FatGirlJenny
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Keep losing that weight, and then watch him noticing more hot guys checking you out! Never mind him--you do you!
19 Jan 16 by member: kpwcalories
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Hmmm... I can relate with how you're feeling. I don't think there's any problem with him not being motivated to go back to the gym. That doesn't have anything to do with you, at least in my opinion. I do think that it's a problem if he teases you about your weight. I assume you've brought it up to him. If he's acting like he expects you to change, that's ridiculous. You said you like him the way he is and don't mind if he's in shape or not. If he cares about you, he'd feel the same way. Good luck, girl, and keep your chin up.
19 Jan 16 by member: SunnieSunny
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What a jerk! It wouldn't kill him to go to the gym with you and help you work out and get fit. Go to the gym without him, I bet there are plenty of helpful folks there to help you get fit.
19 Jan 16 by member: diehard3
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Sometimes guys just don't get that their off handed comments can be hurtful.
19 Jan 16 by member: pammiking
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My opinion (take what makes sense to you and leave the rest): Do what is right for you that meets your personal needs and goals as far as fitness is concerned. And, to be honest - I never liked living on a one way street in a relationship where the rules only apply to you and not to him. Tell him the "jokes" about your weight are not OK - you find them hurtful. See how he reacts to that - if he doesn't say something along the lines of he didn't mean to hurt you and he will cut it out, and he feels just awful that he made you feel bad even if that wasn't his intention...well...there are plenty of men out there who will respect your feelings.
19 Jan 16 by member: FitegicPlanner
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Make yourself the best you can be and I don't mean perfect. Us women do have a harder time than our men, usually. My husband of 37 years has had to put up with my "ups and downs" of my weight. He has never made me feel "unworthy" because I was unable to control my weight. I think he is amazing for this, I'm not sure I could have done the same. I do know, however, any negative remarks concerning my weight sent me in a negative frame of mind and more eating. Think about what his comments truly mean, and if necessary, move on? Does he love you enough the way you are? If so, hang in there, none of us are perfect.
19 Jan 16 by member: CCerza
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my advise, for what is't worth, ditch him, he sounds like an arrogant tool. my husband started making comments like that a few months before I found out he was having an affair, believe me it's hard enough trying to lose weight with out the snide remarks given to you by the one you love. hope all turns out well for you, hope your strength finds you the happiness you need
20 Jan 16 by member: annie oak
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He says he doesn't mind if I don't lose any weight, but on the other hand, he has made clear that he doesn't want me to gain either, which basically means that I'm in his very last "acceptable" stage, before I enter the "fat" zone. I know it sucks, but who am I kidding? I'm not satisfied with my body either, I wouldn't be here otherwise. And until one certain point, it's reasonable to find a woman more attractive when she's at her best shape. I'm also curious to see how I'd be like, so I can't blame him.
What I'm keeping from all your comments is to work for my needs and my goals with determination. And in case things get worse, don't worry about me, I won't tolerate this behavior - I'm selfish and I respect myself :)
Stay strong everybody!
20 Jan 16 by member: panmarchip
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It's likely he feels more comfortable with you because you're more loyal.
I've been with both overweight and normal size girls and I considered them hot in their own way. Surprisingly when I was with either the main driver of me losing weight was not how hot her body was but how she made me feel around guys with hot bodies. We know when our girl checks out hot guys and when she doesn't, and this is really the motivation to look hot.
20 Jan 16 by member: Jasonc1984
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panmarchip's Weight History
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