|
I was really hungry all day yesterday. Even when I woke up at 3am I was still hungry. I ate a decent amount so I'm not sure what that was all about. Still went over my plan by quite a bit... but I guess we'll have those days. I did go for a run in the morning, clean the apartment, and go grocery shopping so I probably did just fine.
Things are pretty strained with everything lately. I've pretty much decided what I have to do with the BF. It sucks though. I talked to my mom last night (who I generally leave out of all of my dating decisions). This was because the only thing I've heard Mom complain about continually with Dad is that he never wants to go out and do anything. I asked her how she dealt with that when she was younger. She said that she just stayed in with him. She felt like he wasn't happy when she went out. But by then they had kids. This is something that's not going to change with him. Something like putting the toilet seat down can be trained. Wanting to go out and have friends can't be.
Now, I say I've pretty much decided. I still feel bad about this. It seems like a petty thing to decide a relationship on. All of it seems petty. Everything. I want to make a list with things I want and need in a relationship but I can't vocalize them. I want to be an equal. I want to feel respected. My petty side wants someone who likes to eat what I do. A man that eats zucchini and mushrooms and eggplant as well as steak and burgers would make my life. Although, I have discovered some new things that I like while trying to please the BF. Mashed cauliflower is a good example. Ugh. But is that REALLY what's important to me?
I figure the next three weekends are going to help me out a lot. This weekend a family friend is coming to visit. He's uh... pretty much the first guy I ever had a crush on. I don't know what we're going to do but I'd love to get his opinion on the whole thing. Then the next weekend I'm running off to Seattle with one of my college buddies. I've known her since freshman year. She'll be good to talk to as well since she moved to Seattle with no job to be with her BF even after she had cheated on him once before. But they are good together. Then just to add to the awkward chain of things, my ex is coming up for a Nonpoint concert. Him and I are compatible in a lot of things BUT will never be conveniently located to be in a relationship AND he'll never probable leave where he's working/living. After all of that I'm going to see the BF for labor day weekend. Hopefully I'll have seen into every angle of myself and be refreshed.
WOW that was more than I planned on writing! Thanks for reading if you did!
|
1941 kcal
|
Fat: 72.48g | Prot: 117.40g | Carbs: 175.32g.
Breakfast: body fortress, milk, kellogg's all bran. Lunch: jennie-o turkey sausage, ketchup, jicama. Dinner: french fries, sausage sandwich. Snacks/Other: beer, pure protein bar. more...
|
|
1558 kcal
|
Exercise:
Weight Training (moderate) - 15 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 45 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
|
|
 Comments
I think that those are not petty things to decide a relationship on. If those things make you happy, and you have told your boyfriend that is what you want/need and he cant do it then you should be able to move on. I dated a guy who didnt want to go out and do anything and I always felt guilty if I went out with my friends. Its not a good situation to be in and it gets old quick. I also think that since you do have distance between you that he should want to go out and show you off when you do see him. In the end it comes down to what makes you happy. Goodluck girl.
btw I was starved all day yesterday and I ate enough too...
16 Aug 11 by member: allieaac
|
Allie, it's funny how some days the body is just so ravenous! I'm having a snack right now and I just had breakfast not too long ago. I feel like this week is just going to be like this. You're right about petty verse happy. I don't ever really think about it that way. I do go out with friends often (I'm never at home) and I don't feel too guilty about it. It's when we've planned on something and he changes his mind that gets me. We didn't go out for Halloween because he didn't want to. BUT I had gone out the night before dressed up.
16 Aug 11 by member: kziemianski
|
It sounds like you know exactly what to do, but change is hard & ending things is harder...best of luck and have a great day hun
16 Aug 11 by member: NoChubbyMom
|
PMS? I am going through rank rank hunger with PMS (this is the second month) like this, and it is horrible - not just a little hungry like chew your arm off kind of hungry. It sounds to me like you have made your decision you just need some comfirmation before following through. Best of luck what ever your decision is.
16 Aug 11 by member: pixidaisy
|
Pixi! Maybe it is PMS! (ironically the BFs initials are PMS... but whatevs) I haven't gotten my TOM yet and my body is pretty unhappy with me. Plus I wanted chocolate, cottage cheese, and pepperoni which are all fattier foods that I would probably PMS crave. Yes, you're right, I am looking for confirmation. Because as much as I'd hate to get stuck in a bad relationship, I'd also hate to throw out a good one.
16 Aug 11 by member: kziemianski
|
Good to let it all out and vent, I hope your mind feels a smidge clearer now :) How long have you and the BF been together? I know what you mean about wanting to go out when he doesn't. I kind of used to be the same, but once I got into the routine of working 50 hour work weeks, now all I want to do is be a couch potato. Every couple has their issues. Another example: my guy and I clash often when it comes to food choices. He wants pizza pops, I want salad...so that's what we eat. We still eat together, but we're not allowed to make fun of the others' meal! I love pros vs cons lists. A major factor in the cons column though would be trying to figure out where to live together. Just go with what your heart tells you...if you've been seriously considering this for a while now, it's probably the right thing to do. Obviously not an easy decision, but I hope everything works out for everyone of course! Sending looooove your way, Chica ;) (p.s: I can't judge with the hunger thing, I'm a "chain eater." I finish my last bite of breakfast as I'm reaching for my lunch)
16 Aug 11 by member: Tubbs McGee
|
K I know exactly what you mean about him making plans and then cancelling. The last time it happened with the Ex he asked if I wanted to go eat at outback, he was paying. I know outback isnt a big deal but it was still nice that he asked if I wanted to go out to eat instead of me asking him. I took a shower, I got dressed and looked pretty and was ready to go and he asked "do you wanna just order it to go and bring it home?" I cried the whole ride there on my way to pick it up. It really hurt to be excited about doing something only to be totally disappointed. The thing about disappointment is that the more it happens the worse it feels.
I dont think snacking is a problem....as long as you snack healthy...I have TONS of apples at work today. I just felt hungry.
16 Aug 11 by member: allieaac
|
Tubs thats called breaklunchner... you know breakfast runs into lunch runs into dinner ;) PMS is my biggest enemy this week, but I feel it coming to a close and then there is the vistit.. it is really the only week of the month that I really hate lol As for the relationship ending, you cant go with the what if's you gotta do what your gut tells you... I never listen to my head or my heart in situations like this because they both lie, my gut has yet to lead me in the wrong direction.
16 Aug 11 by member: pixidaisy
|
Tubbs, we've been together for a little over a year now (16 months?). Which isn't a long time when it comes down to it. For about 11 of those months we lived together. It's hard for me to judge sometimes how much is all in my head. The BF always works on Saturdays which means that going out on Fridays isn't a good idea. But he would go over to a friend's house during the week sometimes and stay out late... so what am I to think? If anything was going on with my friends then I didn't hesitate to head out for the night or weekend. I love hanging out with people and having a good time. But if I tried to see if he wanted to hang out with his friends he would often times dismiss the idea. I know relationships have ups and downs. This isn't something I've been thinking about for a long time. I guess that's why I'm so hesitant to go forward. But at the same time I'm not looking forward to living together again like I was. I've been focusing a lot on the bad (chores and boredom) and not the good (like taking walks or playing tennis or going to the movies). My biggest problem with the BFs eating habits are that sometimes he just won't eat. I'll make dinner and he just won't want to eat anything. He's a 2 meal a day person and it drives me insane. With a past history of disordered eating it REALLY upsets me to see him skip meals. Like wanting to cry my eyes out upset. And when I ask him to eat just a little something he gets mad at me. He knows it's a problem of mine and he just seems to ignore it. Originally I would make food for dinner and eat before he got home (cuz I was starving!) and then he would opt out of eating dinner. He wouldn't take leftovers for lunch. I HATE throwing food away. UGH. So I had to re-train myself to have late dinners.
16 Aug 11 by member: kziemianski
|
If he knows it is something that bothers you he should atleast make an effort to eat. Like maybe just a few bites or a snack size. i understand not being hungry but at the same time he loves and cares about you and should be able to do a little thing so not to upset you. I mean he doesnt have to eat every day just to please you but to show you he doesnt want to upset you hes just not hungry. I lived with my ex...the day to day boring same old same routine sucks sometimes but at the same time can be something soo great. Like when life is stressful and everything is coming at you from all angles atleast you know there will be a predictable normal in your home life. My ex use to go out late and have fun with his friends and not with me...part of why I left because obviously he is capable of going out on a worknight and having fun but he just didnt want to do it with me.
16 Aug 11 by member: allieaac
|
To be honest it kind of offends me too when he doesn't want to eat my cooking. LOL I mean, I make stuff geared towards what he likes. It was the whole thing about knowing that I was going to have dinner ready at a certain time every night, so why couldn't he have lunch before 4-5? I'm not surprising him with anything.
16 Aug 11 by member: kziemianski
|
Compromise, my dear. If you're making small changes for him, it would only be fair that he return the favour. I was thinking this was something crazy, like you'd been together for 6 years or something...if the spark just really isn't there anymore, there's not much of a reason to keep trying to hold on. There are always other fish in the sea...but then again, I don't want to be being too vocal when I don't really know the situation as I've been MIA for so long :S
16 Aug 11 by member: Tubbs McGee
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment. Click here to sign in.
|
|
|
kziemianski's Weight History
|