cameron Salehpour's Journal, 13 Oct 23

don't give up it will get better someday when you least expect it to..  

just think, you want to be healthy as you get older and keep muscle mass. You don't want to get old and end up in a nursing home, depending on other people to take care if you. Take your frustration out on the weights, that's what I do 

I had the same injury and circumstance. 10 years after injury, I had a double layer mictodisectomy. But my mindset was affected for another 5 years. Go for the absolutely smallest step of improvement and slowly build from there. If you can, get your Vit D and B12 checked, as deficiencies cause depression. Your life may be different, but there can still be happiness and recovery after hitting rock bottom. 

Life has a way of sweeping us off our feet, in both good ways and bad, when you fall on your face the hardest part is getting back up, dusting yourself off and moving forward again. It's not an easy thing to do, but you have to make yourself your priority. You are the advocate for your health and mental well being. The point is, you are here, you can be miserable and let your weight continue to increase and let your body deteriorate further or you can fight the pain and bring the man you used to be back and breathe new life into him. Most of us are back here again after a successful transformation, fighting again. We are older, somewhat wiser and all too aware of how life's tendency to throw us curve balls can turn everything upside down and sideways. We don't give up, we keep going because we must. We can do it again, we did it before....it may take more time, it may take more effort, it may take a dramatic change of direction, but we are worth it, our health is worth it, our happiness is worth it and a shared burden is a lighter burden. So you have returned to a place where you can get the support you need to start over......welcome back! 

Sometimes accepting the new normal is hard. I spent 6 years feeling sorry for myself and did little more than eat and not move. After a fractured pelvis followed by a total hip replacement a year later, I had to learn to walk again. Once I'd mastered the basics, still had poor balance, couldn't tie my own shoelaces, couldn't do the things I loved (gardening and walking the dogs) It just spiraled down from there as I was no longer the person I once was...fat but strong and healthy with lots of stamina. End result, my blood pressure was at stroke level. I had to make a big change and started going to the gym. Started small, recumbent machines for cardio and weight machines for strength. The only upright thing I did was on the treadmill at the slowest of levels. This was intentional as with my injuries I had no stride length for fear of falling again and the treadmill had handrails. What it did for me though is help break up a bunch of scar tissue, improved balance and unless it is a damp, cold day, or late in the day, I now walk like I once did. The benefits to mental health though have been profound. As my body has gotten stronger and more capable, so has my spirit. I fully accept that there are some things that I might never be able to do again (lifting bags of cement, or patio stones as an example as that would cause my prosthetic to degrade prematurely), and so it is. On the other hand there is so much I can do now that I thought had been lost forever. You are still the man you were and life events don't change that. Part of your journey now perhaps is to find the new normal that makes you feel good and strong and will feed your spirit. What you accomplished once already is a hell of an achievement and you have the drive within you to take you where you want to go. Different direction perhaps, but can be equally or even more rewarding mentally. Debra is right. Your are worth the effort. 

If you don't mind me asking or if it's not being too bold what is it you want to live for? Is there something that guides you, or do you have someone you love, something you enjoy doing? No one says you have to be in perfect form just being able to move and be capable of doing activities that make you happy and being healthy enough to do those activities would be enough. Don't get me wrong if you grow to want to be super fit and uber awesome muscles that's great but it's okay just to be a normal regular person, too. My point is if you're here you want to do something right... and you don't have to have a great glorious goal just working towards any goals is great we all are starting somewhere. 

Cameron can you make a decision to begin to make a lifestyle change in order to be the best man you can be both physically and mentally. You don’t have to go back to doing balls to the exercises and extreme dieting that leaves you feeling deprived. Make a decision to just try to eat a little healthier most of the time. Find activities that might not only burn some calories but that might also be fun and allow you to mingle with other people. A walking or hiking club is perfect for that. Just do your best and see where it might lead you. 

There are still things in life to care about and people who you connect with that care. Your life may not be what it was but who knows what the future holds? Start with smaller goals and keep moving forward, even when you don't feel like it. You have support here!💜👍