NowIunderstand's Journal, 06 Jul 14

Thanks for all of the replies on my journal yesterday.

I got a little depressed. I feel so overwhelmed by work (desk work) With all this sitting down, I feel thwarted in my desire to lose weight, and in my desire to do other things in my life. I feel work is 'getting in the way' . Although I like what I do I feel it's not want I want to do! A lot of my passions or desires are done sitting down, so in my leisure time, I should be moving. So, even my leisure time is no longer mine. Hope I'm making sense.

Yes, I got depressed, but didn't overeat, just didn't bother recording and did eat after 7pm. Although all good things, no high caloric foods, so I'm sure I didn't surpass my RDI, but surely had a high carb ratio. Anyway, the impulse was to buy wine, which I didn't. I realised something, I sometimes have what I call 'the munchies' which is not related to hunger but to a feeling of anxiety. When I want to drink, it's because I want to change the mood I'm in. Usually a feeling of light depression or being very tired. I don't want to experience the mood. I want to make it go away and be in an altered state from which I am. I guess I'll just have to experience what I'm experiencing at the moment and live through it.

I want to document my feeling of depression because I often get them, and I've wondered if they are cyclical. And especially cyclical to my menses or the full moon (lol) . I'll do an excel graph afterwards (another thing I'll need to do sitting down) So I'm on day 6 of 'my calendar' (from the 28th of june) level of dep: 5 to 6.

View Diet Calendar, 06 July 2014:
859 kcal Fat: 19.03g | Prot: 52.46g | Carbs: 140.68g.   Breakfast: Tuna in Water (Canned), Trader Joe's Hass Avocado, Dole Dark Sweet Cherries, Carrots, Kellogg's All-Bran Original, Whole Milk, Bananas, Sweet Potato, Tomatoes. Lunch: V8 Original 100% Vegetable Juice (5.5 oz). more...
1967 kcal Exercise: Walking (slow) - 3/kph - 1 hour, Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...

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Comments 
Not to worry. So many of us suffer from depression. According to my shrink, depression and being overweight do go hand in hand. I've dumped my heart and head here and the support is wonderful.  
06 Jul 14 by member: ClassicRocker
I'm not worried. I've come to accept them as a fact of my life. Now I want to study them! I'm sure being overweight and depression go hand in hand. The failure of not achieving what you want over and over is enough to drive anyone looney. Any monkey on your back will drive someone to depression I'm sure.  
06 Jul 14 by member: NowIunderstand
 
06 Jul 14 by member: Deb_N
Mauni, I figure my journals here are more a record of my journey for myself. I have left them public, many comments by others have opened me up to looking at my life sometimes through different perspectives. I think all of us have issues in our lives depression or others that to be happy and healthy we have come to terms with. Journaling here has helped me immensely. Hope your study will help you.  
06 Jul 14 by member: wholefoodnut
Maybe it's time to speak your doctor about how you are feeling and he can shed or give you recommendations to help alleviate some of your symptoms. Maybe let your cares go by indulging in a good book(s). You are going to have to change some things in your life, you are going to have to come out from behind that desk and take short walks and enjoying the fresh air and good conversations from the people you will meet on your way to making "change." You owe it to yourself to be the best you can be. Give yourself at least 1 hour for what YOU want to do. 
06 Jul 14 by member: toppy24564
A big problem I found working from home was that you couldn't go home and get away from work. I worked at home for 5 years. I do a few things that I consider sanity therapy. They are things help take mind off work and the world and settle my mind and my stress levels. The main one is working in my yard the other two are cooking and quilting. Years ago I used to run, favorite was on the beach when I could. I'm trying to get to where exercise is another one, not there yet.  
06 Jul 14 by member: wholefoodnut
It's very odd that you should say that! I was out and thinking to set my journal for only buddies. I do have some problem with the fact that if you google my screen name I show up. Especially that my screen name is pretty specific and easily traceable. (I should have thought of that before !) I don't mind sharing with the FS community, but not the www. So, I think this what I'm going to do soon.  
06 Jul 14 by member: NowIunderstand
If you prefer, you can contact FS and change your name then notify your buddies of the change and go into "buddie mode". Several have done that. 
06 Jul 14 by member: ClassicRocker
I've just contacted FS with the request to change my name. Thank you CR. It's great having you as a buddy!  
06 Jul 14 by member: NowIunderstand
Glad to help and glad to have you as a buddy. :~) 
06 Jul 14 by member: ClassicRocker
monique. you might be interested in moodtracker.com. i have bipolar disorder and i track my moods there every day. it keeps track of your period too, so you can see if there is a pattern. i hope you feel better today.  
06 Jul 14 by member: Gnewfry
I get the whole privacy from the www. thing! FWIW, I think it's brave and smart of you to really be examining the things that you're talking a close look at. For a whole lot of us here this experience is about much more than being careful about what we're eating to drop some lbs. I think many of us learn things about ourselves that we never really connected to our weight/eating before. Safe travels on this road my friend!  
07 Jul 14 by member: Vickie 5966
Good idea documenting it. I wish there were a way to filter our journals in a search to find them though ~ I used to journal daily and trying to go through miles of them trying to find 'the time that I did that thing' gets me on my butt for far too long. I wonder if there's anything you could do to raise your computer and stand up while you work at home? Move it over to a counter top? Walk on a treadmill during conference calls? Just a thought. I agree that working from home even takes away the 50 yard walk to the bathroom I'd experience on campus (unless you live in a McMansion). 
07 Jul 14 by member: FullaBella

     
 

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