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Nothing like trying on bathing suits to kick my butt into gear!
I leave for a 7 day vacation this Sunday. Jamaica! I'm looking forward to it - but I am DREADING being in a bathing suit. We are going to Jamaica for a wedding so I will know a lot of people there. A lot of people who haven't seen me in ages. I've never been so unfit and so fat in all of my life. The idea of wearing a bathing suit on the beach in front of them makes my stomach lurch. My boyfriend has a nice body - which is a double edged sword. It's nice to have a hot boyfriend, but I'm resentful that my body was completely destroyed after having a baby.
Oh god. I'm going to be that girl - the one with the hot boyfriend that everyone keeps wondering how she got. I just want to bury my head in the sand!
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1429 kcal
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Fat: 32.15g | Prot: 50.46g | Carbs: 196.22g.
Breakfast: Coconut Water (Canned or Bottled), Great Value Frozen Mixed Berries, Oatmeal, Spectrum Chia Seeds, Coffee with Milk. Lunch: Pita Bread, Near East Lentil Rice Pilaf Mix, Hummus, Trader Joe's Dolmas (Stuffed Grape Leaves), Falafel, Raw Vegetable. Dinner: Rose Wine, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Green String Beans, Chicken Drumstick. more...
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2855 kcal
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Exercise:
Standing - 1 hour, Walking (slow) - 3/kph - 1 hour, Walking (moderate) - 5/kph - 1 hour, Resting - 13 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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1 to 20 of 21
 Comments
Deep breaths :-) Nobody is going to think that. You got that boyfriend not based on your physical appearance alone, but also on your character. Your pregnancy did not ruin your body, you became a mother and that was a gift. I am positive that you are just as beautiful now as you ever were, you're just judging yourself too harshly. I'm not trying to sound lecture-y, just trying to give you some perspective. A big part of weight loss is learning how to love yourself again, because a lot of us have lived with shame for so long it's not always easy. A seven day vacation sounds amazing, do your best to look forward to it and enjoy it. You deserve that. Have a wonderful day!
21 May 14 by member: Annabelle3117
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Sounds like you having a hard time with this but I think that anyone would just seeing people that you haven't seen in a long time. There are so many choices in swimwear these days. ( I actually bought one today after 20 years of not even buying one, so that way I had an excuse to not even go but... ) Buy something that you feel comfortable in and the heck with anybody else.... I mean it is a wedding you are attending not a Springbreak Party, lol!!! Loosin up some and make sure you are happy so you can have a great time!!! A pretty cover up goes a long way too!!!
Most importantly, HAVE FUN!!! =}
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Okay, start now planning another trip to Jamaica after you reach your goal. Don't tell anybody you're dieting, just go back and knock them for a loop when you're a new person! The more out of shape you are now, the more knocked over they'll all be when you go back!
21 May 14 by member: Buckeye Birder
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OMG Buck!!! That may be a good idea for furure reference but NOW is what she is dealing with my dear... It is a great plan but think you would have to be a woman to understand these kind of things :)
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Oh Im sorry thought you were someone else Buckeye Birder!!!!
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I AM a woman, and it helps me get through a tough spot if there is something good to look forward to.
21 May 14 by member: Buckeye Birder
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Whoppsie!!!! Lolol, please forgive me.. was thinking of Buck... simular names got me... sorry again!!! :)
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21 May 14 by member: Buckeye Birder
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Go enjoy yourself. I am sure everyone has changed. Like Christina mentioned there are a lot of beautiful swim suits out there now. A nice skirt wrap while you are walking around. Plus just because its a wedding doesn't mean you have to spend every waking moment with them. You are there for the bride and groom. So enjoy your self take sunrise and sunset strolls. Best of luck.
21 May 14 by member: deaby16
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I hope you will enjoy your wonderful trip to Jamaica, and the boyfriend who must love you, not the fat or thin of you! I am not in the best of shape, (working on it now)_, and have no boyfriend, and all my life,my heart longs for Jamaica. so when you are there, blow a kiss to the blue waters and skies for Molly. I truly hope you enjoy yourself and patiently make the changes you want for yourself. I am sure you are much younger than me, and hope you know you have my support!
21 May 14 by member: unsinkablemas
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show off your beach fashion, retro one piece swimsuites are in. that's what I did after having a kid. it takes time to get back to pre-baby.
At least post-baby I had cleavage. LOL.
21 May 14 by member: HelloTucker
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Yolanda, I wish I could agree with what you're saying but the pregnancy really did ruin my body. I gained like 80lbs, my abdominal muscles separated which caused my back muscles to over compensate leaving me with 2 herniated discs in my spine. I am in constant pain. The pregancy also messed up my hormones so I have bad skin, mood swings, hair growing where hair shouldn't, can't seem to lose weight to save my life, and on and on. I wish I could say that it was a gift but right now I feel more like I've been cursed! Luckily the kid is cute :)
21 May 14 by member: hyde_grrl
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Christina, I found some cute cover ups! Thanks for the suggestion! I'll just wear them all day and swim when no one is watching! haha!
21 May 14 by member: hyde_grrl
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I think so. I think even thought its for plus size models wearing them. They are still not cute for the normal over(bit)weight person.
21 May 14 by member: deaby16
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This is by far the most shallow journal i have ever read, but because you are not my buddy i will refrain from further speech ...
21 May 14 by member: puhpine
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Dont worry about it, if it really bothers you put some shorts on and go swim, just enjoy yourself and stop worrying about what people think ..you had a baby and if they cannot understand that is there problem..have fun...pleasezzz
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Well I think you were very brave to air how you were honestly feeling which shows you have some ba*** so just remember ignorance is forever and you just had just given life which is normal to give birth to a healthy baby. Alittle disapline and you'll be back to the weight that makes you happy!!! :)
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Puhpine is a complete idiot and since she is not your buddy she should have never commented in the first place and shut her damn mouth.
21 May 14 by member: maninblu81
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I don't think you are shallow. It's unfortunately the way people see things and I can understand feeling self conscious after having a baby and seeing people you haven't seen in a while that perhaps haven't had babies yet and don't know how it is! I am about to see a whole bunch of old friends who I have not seen in 4 years and I've had 2 babies in the meantime and most of them have not so I would feel the same in a bathing suit infront of all my old friends. In a perfect world no one would look or judge but unfortunately this is not the case so you have my full support and understanding!
21 May 14 by member: njashka8
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Thanks ahh, Christina, maninblu81 and njashka8!
haha! Mainblu81 you crack me up! haha!
22 May 14 by member: hyde_grrl
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