"You have such a pretty face!" I hear it all the time. Sure, it's a compliment. Compliments don't come so often when you're the size of a small water buffalo. I should take it with a smile and thank you, yet I always feel like stabbing the person with a blunt pencil when they mutter those dreadful words to me. It's never, "you're so pretty" unless it's coming from a close friend. Even then, you can almost hear the unmuttered continuation of that statement (,but you really should try to drop a few pounds.)
So here I am, And here are the facts:
I will be 32 on February 13, 2011. I am starting this journal at 315 pounds. I make no excuses for my weight. I love food. Food does not love me. I am married to James. He doesn't care about my weight, in fact, he married me at 340 pounds. I don't like myself very much. I am starting to hate mirrors. My "booth phobia" has returned (am I going to fit in that booth?) I feel ashamed of myself in public lately. I am just coming off of a very hard dose of depression that developed as a result of financial and marital hardships. I have fought my way through that depression. I will fight my way through this as I am.. a fighter. I have a son. He is almost 7. I do not exercise as I should. I am addicted to sugary foods. I want to be a size 12.
Seems like I laid it all out pretty well for you. Time to get going then...
xPRETTYxFACEx
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