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weight: unknown, we have left early the last few morning to meet friends for breakfast and I have not weighed in. Just because of the rush to get out of the house and not thinking about it. I "feel" the same and my clothes fit the same.
back: waiting for doc appointment to come around, no pain and pressure seems to be easing up. there are long periods of time where I feel absoluetly nothing and the pressure only comes around if I sit for too long in the same position. also sitting at an angle with my feet tucked under me is not good.. and that is how i always use to sit.
Mental attitude: I am trying so hard to re-focus on why I need to lose the weight. One problem is that I am "semi-" happy with the weight and size I am now. Im a size 12 (I WAS a size 10 not that long ago) but gained some back. I can still fit into the size 10's and they are not uncomfortable or tight BUT they create that "muffin top" around the waist of my pants so I am wearing the slightly lose size 12's. My health has been good but when I sit down that muffin top is there, letting me know I have more fat to get rid of. I am really trying to think of reasons why it is still important to me to continue my weight loss...and can I live my life with it?? sometimes I feel so restricted. I want a glass of wine in the evenings .. maybe 2 glasses on a weekend. I could be happy with wine 3 days week, but alcohol is suppose to slow down weight loss. Heck how can it possibly be any slower than it is now. If I indulge in any tiny "quitly pleasure" of food it shows up on the scale immediately!! letting me know I have no choice but to stay the course ...for how long? can I live this way forever?? Is there any light at the end of the diet tunnel?? I want to get rid of the fat hanging around my middle, I want to be healthy, I want to look like my friends (who have no muffin tops). How do I stay focused and "wanting it". I am thinking of writting down the reasons and making a "self hypnosis..talking to me about me and my goals" tape. I thought I could play it at night as I go to sleep and bore myself to sleep and maybe re-affirm my reasons. Now I need to go think about what those affirmations are. maybe I need to post my before and after pic on my fridge to remind me how far I have already come?
View Diet Calendar, 22 February 2009:
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1124 kcal
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Fat: 42.74g | Prot: 85.89g | Carbs: 108.84g.
Breakfast: Mammoth Blueberry Muffin, ham lean, egg scrambled, mug coffe 10 ounce, decaff. Lunch: 6 calamata olives, mozzarella string cheese stick, chicken breast, spinach, Tblsp balsamic vinegar. Dinner: nectarine, Lean Cuisine Chicken, Spinach & mushroom panini, asparagus. Snacks/Other: Crystal Light On The Go Metabolism Peach Mango Green Tea. more...
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1870 kcal
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Exercise:
Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 15 minutes, Sitting - 5 hours, Resting - 10 hours and 45 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
Great news about your back. It may just as well be repetitive stress which you can deal with in a number of ways. Mental attitude: You deserve to be the best possible you Janelle (did you see my post "Best Quotations"), don't even think about compromising on this point. ImLuuvd is always saying that nothing tastes as good as thin feels, I couldn't agree more, don't you? I can't describe what it feels like to go to a store and buy something you really like and have it fit you perfectly every time. And, you are not buying something to hold you through until you get to your ideal weight, you get what you really want. To know that you look great, to know you are in control of your own mind, to know you did it and can keep it, can take a lot of effort (it's easy really, all in your mindset). But to ask if it is worth it, well, I can't say I don't understand because I do, but I can assure you it is *more* than worth it. It is the only way to go. I know that you know that you can do this Janelle, it's just a matter of resolve. Give yourself a chance to be 100% of the woman you deserve to be. Release yourself from the brainwashing that it's hard because it isn't really, you *must* know that. No need to cut the wine, drink as much as you need, no more. Do your best girl.
22 Feb 09 by member: information
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Information is 100% right, but I also wonder at what point do I say enough is enough too. However, I am still in the game and will keep plugging away to get where I want to get and stay there again. And I think you are still in the game too. ((Hugs))
22 Feb 09 by member: WECANDOTHIS
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I know that ImLuuvd achieved great results on SB as have so many others. But it sounds to me like you are finding that the plan does not fit into the lifestyle you want to have. Perhaps it is time to investigate a different plan that WILL allow you the indulgences you are missing while still achieving the goals you have for yourself. There are so many plans - one of them could be just what you need to continue your journey without feeling like it's a lost cause. Best of luck, whatever you decide!
22 Feb 09 by member: evelyn64
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Thank you Janelle for posting your thoughts on mental attitude, and Information for the encouragement even though it's not my journal I feel like I've been moved forward a bit. I am 13 pounds over my low weight of the summer- slowly but surely inching up on the scale without the drive to lose it.I am going in the wrong direction telling myself it's okay my size 8's don't fit anymore ...a 10 isn't so bad...one bite of chocolate, one glass of wine, one slice of bread, one baked potato at a time...looking back over the last 6 months 99% of it wasn't worth it. I want to be back at 143,and move down from there. I will have to work so hard to lose it again.....I am hoping and planning that I can cling to the "I am worth it" message....My best, my goal, my dream body and dream wardrobe are all worth limiting my choices a little bit.There is some odd momentary contentment I have with the glass of wine- or the bite of chocolate, and the potato but when i think about what it feels like to be thinner ...that contentment is longer lasting and of deeper measure.Thanks for the push I NEEDED IT!!
23 Feb 09 by member: sharonfriz
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I sat with my right leg folded under for years until I went to the Chiro for something unrelated and found that I had a mild scoliosis that had not shown up in chest xrays 5 years before. Can sitting crooked cause that? I wouldn't think so but it was enough of a shock to make me start sitting straight. I understand about settling and convincing yourself that a certain weight/size is just fine so why push it lower. But if you are thinking this way, you are obviously not comfortable with it. I am writing this to myself as much as to you. Here I sit with puffy fingers from all the crap I at this weekend. Keep plugging away and remember that as the weather warms, so will your motivation. PS Bob talked to our friend/Dr about his back at church yesterday and is making an appointment with him for today or tomorrow.
23 Feb 09 by member: bethru
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wow mom...those are some serious thoughts...you are worth it, just have to find your motivation again...when you you find it...see if mine is there also, please...thanks...lol...have a great day
23 Feb 09 by member: veggies yuk
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Thanks everyone, your comments help but I am obviously very depressed right now over all this diet stuff. I am looking at the weight watcher's program but right now my heart just isn't in "it" at all. I am still being careful.
The good thing is that my hubby is on program with me and he needs to stay the course because he has a history of diabetis and has gotten off meds because of our new life style. We will continue to eat healthy but right now... I am more depressed than I have been in a long time. I have a trip coming up April 20th and I will be heavier leaving for that trip than I was last year when we went to Mexico. I have given up wine and so many things in order to try to get this weight off and I am so tired of it. Im not jumping off any diet bridges or anything like that but I am probably the most depressed about my weight than I have ever been. All this work, all this effort, thinking consciously about everything I eat and how much exercise, now my back problem and trying to stay active enough to try to lose just one more pound. I am just feeling sorry for myself and very miserable. I am thinking that I might never lose another pound again... its just depressing. I need to try to find something that will work for me. Right now I am looking at weight watchers and some of my buddies that have done well on that plan. The problem is that I am 60 yrs old and still looking for the magic program that will work for me. that IS depressing.
23 Feb 09 by member: Janelleas
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Don't worry about the alcohol slowing your weight loss down. I believe at this point there are other reasons for your stall. Keep using your food diary very faithfully, every little sip or sample or spoon. I'm logging on here every day now to see your food diary and help you as best I can. I'll have a better suggestion once I see at least a few days of your food intake. I have a few thoughts of what is going on so just keep journaling everything. I know we'll find the answer. Love ya.
23 Feb 09 by member: ImLuuvd
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It takes a lot of courage to say this out loud. It is very hard to live with the fact that weight loss and even staying healthy is a STRUGGLE and takes constant work for us. It makes me scream and cry sometimes! There is no magic program-the magic is our commitment to keep going IN SPITE of these feelings. Have you looked back through your weight history lately? Sometimes it is helpful to see your progress over the long term.
I am wondering if the physical strain and the fact that you can not exercise as much right now is adding to the depression. You will weather this storm.
I agree with others that the long winter is a part of what is going on with you right now.
BTW-I LOVE wine and margaritas-as you probably know ! I do not drink during the week (usually) but will have wine or a drink or two on the weekend. Maybe I would have lost more weight if I quit drinking all together? Who knows. Maybe I could do better if I stopped eating by 7PM, or ate only green food. I'll never know.
We all have to find a balance that is effective for health but is not depriving. Sounds like you feel a bit deprived right now. I hope you feel better soon and encourage you to check out WW or any program that may help you reset your goal.
23 Feb 09 by member: Densible
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I am pretty much in the same position and mindset as you and I am so frustrated with myself. I have lost 100+ pounds and I am much healthier now, but i still want to lose this belly i have! I have considered giving up, calling it quits, and almost 'accepting' to be in the 160's for forever. But i dont want to live the rest of my life like this! if you have any advice, please send some my way. I wish you the best of luck as well, and wish i had more useful advice to give you. Everyone is right, you just need to regain control and refocus. The hypnosis thing sounds like a good idea. I am going to write down my goals now
lots of love <3
23 Feb 09 by member: girlygirlatheart
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I apologize in advance if I sound preachy but....why are you comparing yourself to anyone else? It is making you sad and doubtful of yourself. You are not anyone else. You do not have to be like anyone else. You only have to be the you that makes you happy and comfortable. The number on the scale is just that-a number. If you are not comfortable then by all means continue trying to lose weight, however, if you are happy the way you are or do not want to feel deprived then so be it. :) I think it is important to give ourselves permission to be happy and content with ourselves no matter our size or the number on the scale because then we are not worried about deprivation or limiting ourselves. We can focus on being the way we wish to be just because it is our choice and not how we "should" be. No one else (hey not even me!lol) gets a say in how you feel about yourself.~~~~~~~~~ I am so proud of you for admitting that you are having these feelings. Be kind to yourself and allow your feelings to shine through no matter what they might be. I have learned that myself this week. :) {{{HUGS!}}} I hope I did not ramble too much!
24 Feb 09 by member: dawn0001
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Janelleas's Weight History
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