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This is largely a reminder for my self, but I was remembering in the past how I learned the key to stop being/feeling miserable is often to serve others. This is hard usually because I know the times I feel needy, lonely, discouraged, etc., my desire is more to be served, be comforted and cared for. I do NOT naturally want to give care when I feel like I am lacking it. However, the times when I've pushed past the self absorption and self pity have generally been rewarding. It is in my mind now that forgiveness was once described as accepting a debt or loss not because one should, but because one can (at least those who have first received forgiveness are those who are able to give it without conditions). I know this is rather vague-book-ish (which kind of irks me as being pretentious...sorry for that), but discretion tells me that the details are unnecessary and not edifying right now. What matters is that I recognize I have an opportunity and a choice to forgive and I am going to try to choose the good part. (What the other person does is mostly inconsequential to this decision even though I feel the effect either way and one outcome is certainly harder than the other, in the end so be it.)
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 Comments
I agree. Serving other brings a peace and joy to your heart you can't find anywhere else
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I struggle so much with this grrrr...work in progress ;) So do you have any suggestions for how to serve others? What kinds of things have you done? Community, family, volunteer?
13 Mar 14 by member: lauraab
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Love this post! I agree wholeheartedly. Namaste.
13 Mar 14 by member: gilliansings
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Your realization reminds me of the verse in the Bible "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." (Luke 6:31) I remember being socially awkward as a teenager and my mom would always say to focus on others, not myself and the event would be a blast. MrsTofu, you have given me the exhortation I needed today. You have served others just through your journaling today! Thank you!
13 Mar 14 by member: sheshemoo
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MrsTofu, thank you for writing this reminder to yourself! You remind all of us to choose well, with our head and our heart.
13 Mar 14 by member: Deb_N
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Thank you! I feel much better and am glad I realized this when I did. As for ways to serve, in this instance I began by rubbing the other person's feet. (The foot washing example of John 13 came to mind at the time. It seems even more pertinent as I look at the passage and see the timing...Passover is about a month away. :-) ) Serving others can be so many things, none of which necessarily have to be dramatic. Starting with your own family is a good initial basis. You can expand outward from there. If you serve others, acting out of your own poverty [of spirit], that sacrifice isn't measured or esteemed by the value of the means involved...at least it's not valued that way in G-d's eyes. When the temple in Jerusalem was around during the life of Jesus on earth, the greatest offering given there He said was the widow's leptas- human currency worth less than a penny; G-d doesn't see things as we do, He weighs matters from the heart. If you are generous there it doesn't matter if the outward sign of it has a retail value of $0; it's worth it and the reward is exponentially greater! :)
14 Mar 14 by member: MrsTofu
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Ways that I personally have served: volunteering in a food ministry that collects store donations and makes those available to lower income/ in need families and individuals, working in my church's nursery, helping with set up or clean up at my MOPS meetings, singing (church music ministry), cooking, caring for my family, giving someone a hug when they were upset, giving old clothes and household items to charity, picking up trash from a can that got knocked over outside a neighbor's home, greeting people I know by name and really talking to them (vs. small talk), praying for other people. (Honestly though I really suck at that. Prayer does not come naturally to me yet.) Simple things really. Another one that may seem minor, but is special is times I've apologized for hurtful things I've said or done in my impatience.
14 Mar 14 by member: MrsTofu
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Things I have done is odd favors for my neighbors without them asking. Like mowing their yard or baking or cooking for them and dropping it off. I serve in our church and my husband has many times paid for people who seem in needs meal when he is out. We have bought children things they need like shoes and clothes. Last year we fixed a few kids around towns bikes whether it was with time or buying and putting on new tube for their tires. Just take whatever you were blessed with and find a way to use it. :)
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14 Mar 14 by member: MrsTofu
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I remember attending a foot washing service at my church last year! It was an eye opener and I am glad I attended. I think a lot of things I do on a daily basis may serve others but sometimes I get confused when I am not doing what the world dictates as serving others. It does not have to be on display or anything grandiose! It is all the little things too and definitely comes from within. Great post!
14 Mar 14 by member: lauraab
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