Janelleas's Journal, 07 Feb 09

oooooooooohhhhhh.................throw it up!!````YUK yuk............i just would not eat it, throw it up, thats insane! 

That two for one pasta sounds great to me. :-) 

whoa nelly! BF really barfs? That is disturbing. If you must go for pasta-maybe do the doggy bag first method? Have them pack up half your plate as soon as it arrives. It really works for me. Out of sight-out of mind. Re frustration-this is just a temporary pause in your weight loss progress. I have no lost anything since before Christmas. Remember what you said in a past journal? Something about the goal being the most important thing and NOT how long it takes? Hang in there and remember feelings and behavior are two different things! Thinking help when emotions run high. You have lost weight "eating the right stuff"-24 pounds aty least! That is a lot of eating the right stuff AND avoiding the stuff that gets in your way. :Be your own best friend and do not punish yourself for not losing the weight faster. Now that is an order! xoxo 

Is that BF with the eating disorder the same one that went with you on your Mexico trip last year? If so, I recall you commenting about her jealousy of your weight loss and how she was trying to stay thinner than you. So I don't discount your suspicions that she is trying to sabotage you with the restaurant switcheroo. But you will persevere. I have faith in you!  

So, does BF stand for Barfing Friend? :) Yuk. I hope you set a good example for her at the restaurant. I hope you can turn your thinking around when you're frustrated. Remind yourself of your successes!  

Oh my! The "friend" who insists on pasta for your dinner out seems to have had some issues - at least in the past. The good news is that pasta places usually have delicious salads and flavorful salad dressings. They also have yummy chicken dishes with spicey tomato sauces. You might try ordering chicken parmesean and scraping away the starchy pasta noodles! Just a thought! Sadly - your instinct about sabatoge is probably accurate. Sigh! Enjoy your dinner out! 

I am sorry that your BF is making this so hard for you. Have you thought about confronting her with this? Let her know that the pasta place is not a good choice for you and you would prefer not to go back there after tonight?? Perhaps if your other friends agreed to it or you said something like "I really prefer not to eat here again" it might be taken better by your friend?~~~~~~~~ Anyone who eats then makes themselves throw up is trying to feel like they are in control. They aren't. It is trying to regain control "after the fact."~~~~~~ She may be jealous that you do not do this or that you are succeeding in a healthy way. While you may not be judging her she may feel that way OR she could be thinking "I can have my cake and eat it too and you will gain when I won't!"~~~~~~~~~~ I can be way off base but it seems she needs some help. Bulemia is serious. It can kill you from a ruptured esophogus or worse! I hope she will get some help because what she is doing is dangerous and unhealthy. I know this because I used to do it a long long time ago. I thought I was "in control" because I only did it "once in a while" but it can wreak havoc on your system, destroy your teeth and even cause horrible problems in your digestive tract. I am very fortunate that I did not suffer any of these terrible things but I only did it when I had a binge, which was infrequent. I know now that I could have damaged myself permanently had I not stopped and hope she will stop as well. 

aaahhh mom...im sorry...make the best decision you can and stay the course...