|
Slowly feeling better again, back on track & ready to face another day! But, still mystified by the sugar demon that seems to take over, lead me to a dark place & hold me captive. I know I'm lucky its for only short periods (though never short enough) & I do think it is all about my thoughts, feelings & unmet needs at the time, but its so illogical, unhelpful & harmful. That's the crazy part as I know how much worse I'll feel afterwards, my problems will still be there & i'll have the shame, disgust & weight gain to deal with. But, I also know that's its a well engrained habit -- as we spoke of on the retreat, a rut thats been dug and sealed in place over & over & over -- which I'm just beginning to recognize & experiment to find ways to begin digging a new path of healthy, mindful eating & living. So, on I go today forging that new route & ever so grateful for all of you and this safe place!
I'm going back to what I know & know has worked for me in the recent past -- eliminating gluten, lactose & sugar, while Intermittently fasting on a 5:2 plan, and logging & journaling regularly. While this is somewhat contrary to a truly EWYL mindful eating approach, it will be my version of it for now while learning & incorporating much of the rest of the EWYL way of eating & life. EWYL discourages restrictive eating but recognizes that we are each on our own unique journey & for some of us, certain foods have to be restricted for health reasons. This is definitely the case for me when it comes to gluten & lactose, but I was hedging, maybe hoping not so much for sugar. I was hopeful that if I took away the restrictions on it, I would take it off the pedestal I'd placed it on & relinquish it back to "normal, everyday, its only food" status. But, I know now that my body just does not do well on sugar & that I have to think of it as a food intolerance too. I can think of it in the EWYL way, though, meaning I can at any time choose to eat sugar but accept that I will pay the consequences as I did this weekend. So, its a mindset, meaning I'm in charge & choosing not to eat sugar vs being restricted from eating it by someone else or some diet plan.
Once again, thats my story for now & I'm sticking to it...at least until my experimenting & lab results take me elsewhere!… so, I'll pray --
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
And again on this one day and through each one meal, moment, bite & emotion, I'll pray, breathe, log, journal & express my way. I'm so very grateful for each of wonderful, loving & supportive you, my family & IRL friends, no new snowflakes this morning & slowly warming temps again over the next few days, & having my health & enough wealth to live this life I love (including a workout this morning & a massage this afternoon;))! xoxox
|
 Comments
Soundds like a plan. Glad you're feeling better Ruth. Have a wonderful week.
13 Nov 13 by member: Helewis
|
I like the rationale Ruth, that you can still have sugar when you want it, re EWYL, but knowing the consequences for eating it. Same as gluten and lactose. You can have bread and milk whenever you want but you know the price you will pay. Great way to think about it. And yes I hear you on that rut, damn I may as well move my bed in there, it's so large! Sugar does a number on my brain too and I get so mad at myself, like you do. Are we too stupid to stop doing the same thing over and over? No, we are bright intelligent women so WTF? If someone ever figures this out, please let us know :) Have an awesome day 'sugar' LOL.
13 Nov 13 by member: sarahsmum
|
Enjoy your massage, that will certainly make you feel better!
13 Nov 13 by member: SJacqueline
|
We all have our own demon's to deal with...and we are lucky enough to know how to deal with it..but some times they do win...enjoy that massage...:O)
|
More and more recently I understand that sugar demon you speak of; maybe it wasn't there so much when I didn't eat ANYTHING in moderation. That's the wonderful part of connecting with people here, connecting with you, and sharing life experiences. You've spent so many years restricting your intake to maintain your weight where I've always gained massive because of my anything goes. Now... as I'm getting closer to a 'healthy weight' I find that sugar thing does sneak up. Ironic, hmm. I felt proud the other night that when DH asked for ice cream I did NOT lick the spoon as I have been; I've been really conscious of these little 'licks here' and 'bites there' and it feels like I'm back to the place I was a year ago. I think that sugar thing is really REAL and I'm giving it consideration. The other day at Walgreens I stopped and looked at those Lindor (?) chocolates - DH likes those because they're soft but I know it was ME that wanted them. I need to be clean and sugar free (as possible) for a while too ~ I can't do it in small amounts at all. At night I've found I really enjoy yogurt with chia seeds with frozen berries stirred in ~ I like the cold, ice cream 'like' feel of it in my mouth without feeling the regret later. One day, one bite at a time.
13 Nov 13 by member: FullaBella
|
Ruhu so glad you journaled about this sugar crap. I am in the exact same boat. It is just something I must restrict because once it hits my system it is like heroin. :( Thanks for helping me think of EWYL in a different light. EWYL but with exceptions. :)
13 Nov 13 by member: Neptunebch
|
I just can't express how each of you buoys me up again when I feel like I'm sinking. You make me smile, bring the sunshine back to my gloom & doom, and help me realize that I'm not totally crazy after all (although isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over & over expecting a different result?!?). I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you! Also, I have to share on a lighter, EWYL note, now as I drive by the stores or restaurants I'd go to to buy sugar treats find myself saying "and I can have that anytime I really, really, really, really want it & accept the consequences of eating it, and I can have that…" ! xoxox
13 Nov 13 by member: Ruhu
|
We appreciate your encouragement as well. And you are wise going back to your old plan - if it it ain't broke, don't fix it.
13 Nov 13 by member: BuffyBear
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment. Click here to sign in.
|
|
|
|