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The 220s are coming.
Soon. Very soon, in fact.
I caved this morning and weighed in a little early since I was curious and I AM down - which just proves to me that my little experiment seems to be working. I don't know why but somehow this seems to be working for me mentally better right now. It might be my stress level it might just be that it helped me break through a plateau. I'm not sure but I'm going to go another week without actually logging and see what happens.
I AM exercising but I'm focusing more on beating my own records for time when I go out or to gain endurance than "OMG, how many calories did that just burn???" I think that's better for me, both now and in the long run.
There was some kind of weird problem with my ticker/account before but it seems to be corrected now (I hope.) I'm not going to put pressure on myself to reach goal #2 but I know it is getting closer now and that I'm within 10lbs of it. I was originally thinking this would happen by Thanksgiving but if it does by the end of the year that'd be great. I don't think 10lbs by Christmas is that unrealistic/unachievable.
I mean, sure it'd be great if more happens but I'm going to stress or berate myself to get under 200 by New Year's Eve. It's not the end of the world if I'm 210, 220 or even 230 then. Onderland and all that comes with it IS going to come and relatively soon (within six months, I'm sure of that much) but I'm not going to make the rest of my life miserable to get there.
Because really, life is what happens while you're making other plans. I can miss out on now, because I want to be at some later goal and discount everything I've done up to now but you know what, I'm enough. Me, today, as I am. I'm enough. My worth isn't the number on the scale, the size of my jeans, what job I have, how much I make or how many degrees I have.
So I can push myself to be the best, the brightest, the skinniest, the "biggest loser" (if you will). Or I can try and have fun along the way. I went to the farmer's market today and I had a cider donut. I haven't had a donut probably since July. I love the cider donuts made by this local orchard and I wanted one. So I had it. I didn't buy a giant bag to take home or any extra, but I had my donut and because I did, I had no problem walking past the ice cream later at the dairy. I can't tell you how many times I would've been swayed by the ice cream because I deprived myself of the donut and then come home and had at least half a pint. I didn't want ice cream though today, I wanted a donut.
And I'm not saying I want to nor should eat a donut every day (and obviously not a bag of donuts myself like I used to) but I think it's a sad kind of lifestyle when you can't have a donut once in a while. I also know that in stressful times for myself personally, I can't keep certain things in the house (like ice cream). Sure, I might start stress eating at some point but I'm going to do less damage if I don't have the bad stuff at home in easy reach. Why make it harder for myself?
Affirmations for today:
1) It's good to have goals for when you want things to happen but you can't make anything happen on a certain timeline.
2) I'm enough as I am at this moment in time
3) Change your thoughts, change your habits, change your mind, change your body, change your life.
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