suechru's Journal, 27 Sep 10

I'm completely overwhelmed.

I am completely overwhelmed with work and school and the nine billion other things I agreed to and I think I'm having a meltdown. I just can't handle all this. Two of my classes are ending next week, I have papers to write and I don't know when the hell I'm going to do that. Plus finance homework plus the fact that I feel like I'm behind in everything.

I can't handle this level of stress without a crutch. I got to the point where I could handle everyday stuff without whatever crutch I used to use but this... this is just too much. I'm bitchy with everyone, I just got dressed down by my project group (partially deservedly so) but I had to leave before I told THEM off too. Everything is bothering me and everyone. I just want to be left the hell alone in a dark quiet room where no one asks anything of me for a while.

This is too damn much, I can't DO this. I want to drop the hell out of school. I know I probably don't really want to do that but right now I really want to withdraw from at least one of my classes so I can have something of sanity again. I can't keep up this damn pace. The only thing that stopped me from going through the drive thru on the way home was that I'm ridiculously nauseous from stress right now. I don't know what the hell to do. I want to just go off the wagon so to speak foodwise for the next two weeks so I don't have that worry in my mind but part of me doesn't want to undo all the progress I've made.

God, I'm fucking bleary sitting here and I have to try to start working on this finance homework that's due Wednesday and figure out what the hell my paper for ethics is going to be about. Fuck. I nearly started crying in class again tonight.

I just can't DO this anymore. I'm literally having a meltdown.

Gah, I just wish I could take a day off and get caught up on stuff. I'm exhausted and don't know what to do.

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1643 kcal

Fat: 32.20g | Prot: 121.89g | Carbs: 231.03g.   Breakfast: Greek Style Nonfat Yogurt - Pomegranate, Cream (Half & Half), No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Bagel Thins - Everything, Cheese Wedges. Lunch: Rold Gold Pretzel Sticks, Bottled Water, CowPals Light Low Moisture Part-Skim Mozzarella Cheese Sticks, Sliced Lite Provolone Cheese, Bagel Thins - 100% Whole Wheat, Apples. Dinner: sugar free vanilla syrup, skim milk, coffee, apple, cucumber, weight watchers mozzarella cheese stick, pepperidge farm deli flats, trader joe's provolone, trader joe's turkey breast. Snacks/Other: laughing cow cheese wedge, rold gold pretzel sticks, TLC Cereal Bars - Ripe Strawberry, 100% All Fruit Boysenberry Fruit Bar, splenda packets, mint tea , green tea, Bottled Water. more...

3619 kcal

Exercise: Walking (slow) - 3/kph - 10 minutes, Housework - 30 minutes, Driving - 1 hour and 35 minutes, Sleeping - 6 hours, Resting - 4 hours and 5 minutes, Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 10 minutes, Sitting - 30 minutes, Desk Work - 11 hours. more...