ericam16's Journal, 16 May 13

This is just what's been on my mind lately. This whole being over weight is kind of new for me. Yes, I have been over weight for about 4 years since my youngest was born, but before that I didn't have a weight problem. I never thought twice about food. Even after I gained weight it took about a year to finally accept the fact that I gained 100 lbs. So all this constantly thinking about food, exercise, and using the scale every week sometimes drags me down. I know it's for the better, and I have to do this to be healthy again, and I want to look again too. I know this sounds so vain, but I'm embarrassed of myself. Only my immediate family and in laws know I gained all this weight. I've moved out of state from where I grew up, and I don't live where I worked anymore...and none of my old friends or coworkers know. I am so afraid of running into them when I go home for visits. An old friend/coworker of my husband and I came to the city for some appt and I made up some excuse not to go out to lunch with him and my husband....this is just my mind state right now. I know what I need to do to change all this, and only I can make it happen. :)

View Diet Calendar, 16 May 2013:
1270 kcal Fat: 56.96g | Prot: 23.59g | Carbs: 163.87g.   Breakfast: Donald Duck Orange Juice, Coffee, Lowfat Vanilla Yoghurt, Pumpkin Pie Spice Coffee Creamer, Blueberries, Raspberries. Lunch: Fusion Sparkling, Light Caesar Salad Kit. Snacks/Other: Hazelnut Spread, Classic Potato Chips (40g), French Onion Dip, cosmopolitan flavored yogurt. more...

   Support   

Comments 
I feel the same way. I've gained 100 pounds over the course of the last 10 years. My weight has been up and down. I, too, refuse to visit old friends, or go to out of town family functions because I'm embarrassed. You are not alone, dear. Many of us are here for the very same reason.  
16 May 13 by member: Vickiauntmick
It's sad. I wish I could get passed that and not care, but I really don't think I will until I loose a good amount of weight. 
16 May 13 by member: ericam16
People fluctuate with weight constantly; it’s nothing to be ashamed about, especially since you are on the path to weight loss! And I know losing weight gets harder as you get older. I was first worried about my weight after Halloween of 2009. When I was a teen I could eat and eat and eat and eat and EAT candy all day and night and not see a gain in weight… Well in my twenties I tried eating the same amount and I gained and it stayed, that’s when I decided to exercise more in order to counterbalance all the calories I was consuming. At first I DREADED working out, it was such a chore, but after awhile it becomes a habit, just like brushing your teeth twice a day. :) It gets better, you just have to take that initial step and stick with it. Print some motivational quotes and post them around the house or maybe lunch with an old acquaintance is just the kick in the butt you need! You may be overweight now, but the next time you meet for lunch you’ll be thinner, have more energy, and be much more confident! Set small goals for yourself and stick with them. :D 
16 May 13 by member: The Blue Box
thanks blue box! :) 
16 May 13 by member: ericam16
Blue Box is right, it gets better once you stick to it. You can do this!! When you are exercising consistently and eating better you will feel better about yourself. I gained about 50 lbs. when I was pregnant with my son and have struggled with the last 10-20 lbs of that for a long time. I keep gaining it back and losing. Since I found this site and started recording my calories I've been more positive, learned more about my health, and started exercising more. You just have to learn to push yourself even when you don't want to. This is your journey so make the most of it! Have some fun with it by finding some fun exercise, or making new healthy recipes. You shouldn't be ashamed because you are working to get healthy and that process takes time. You are worth the time, so try to see the process (healthy eating & exercise) as a positive thing not negative. You've got this! 
16 May 13 by member: mars2kids
Thanks mars2kids, I really need to be more positive about the whole process.  
16 May 13 by member: ericam16
I know MOSTLY of where you are and where you are coming from; I have been up and down the scale 100+lbs four times over four decades and endured my own private hell of the imagined public flogging. I can tell you that you are probably judging yourself far harsher than anyone else; I barely EVER notice when someone else has gained weight despite having been so self conscious of my own. Just continue to do what you're doing by being healthy and over time it the unnecessary weight will go away. In the meantime though - love yourself unconditionally TODAY because it would be a shame to waste this time in hopes of a 'better future'. Make today count.  
16 May 13 by member: FullaBella
It isn't easy being away from home, sometimes food just happens to be a little to rich or there isn't much to do and before you know the weight creeps up, I personally know the feeling. Please don't be too down about that, you have started taking control of diet and exersise .If you don't feel like seeing some one don't I was surprised when my (ex)friends made my weight the topic of their interest. Most people don't care but if you are uncomfortable right now don't.Put some goals and meet them I know you can, if your here keeping track your determined enough to make it happen. 
16 May 13 by member: The candy fan
I hated that uncomfortable feeling of being seen at a heavy weight too. That is one of the biggest things that kept me motivated. But there is no need to punish yourself even more by missing out on good times. It is just a stepping stone in life many have to go through. We just are all more critical of ourselves than others. 
17 May 13 by member: iamachristianjesusfreak

     
 

Submit a Comment


You must sign in to submit a comment. Click here to sign in.
 


ericam16's Weight History


Get the app
    
© 2024 FatSecret. All rights reserved.