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There's always a guy right? Lol! So ok there's this guy I like. He's literally perfect. Not like totally perfect lol but perfect for me. He's dreamy and super nice to me. He's abt 8 yrs older than I, has never been married, and has no children. He's sooo smart -- like has 3 degrees from Harvard and Stanford smart. I googled him to make sure he was who he said he was and he is and MORE. And he likes me for me today. He really accepts me as i am. He's just a great guy from the South who was raised to be a gentleman. Oh and I like the way he talks...the way his words sound...sigh...lol!
So now that I've explained that im "in like" with this guy you would think I would be jumping at every opportunity to see him and really move forward with him. Nope. That's what a lowered confidence level will do. I didnt think I had any major issues with confidence. Then I started to realize that it's bc my body has been in such a bad state that over time it started eroding my confidence in other areas of my life. Thank God I recognize it and know that I still have a few kinks to workout in my head whilst working out my body. So I decided to take a step back from my friendship with one of the nicest most accomplished men I've ever met. I just didnt think it was healthy for me to recognize this issue and not address it head on without any distractions. I met him in Dec 2012 and having been married before, im a wee bit slower with trusting a guy today. So we actually had a talk THE talk. He's ready for literally EVERYTHING and im apparently not. He says im getting in my own way. While that may be true...I still want to be my best self for me before I commit to a serious relationship. I didnt tell him abt my confidence issues...I think he knows already but just doesnt say anything except be nice to me. He has made it plain and clear he wants to move forward with me over the last couple months and I just realized I needed more time. He has been really patient but I just need more patience than it appears he has. We decided to keep in contact but obviously not as much contact as before THE talk we had this past Sunday. I actually cried after the phone conversation and we're not even a couple lol. But I feel better knowing I was honest with him abt not being ready. I have this feeling that if its supposed to work out....it will. Hopefully, big emphasis on hope, he wont have eyes for anyone else while we have dialed things back. But one thing I learned from this experience is to have my life, body, soul together at all times bc I just never know when one of my many requests while daydreaming or praying or meditating will be answered. In other words, I should always be prepared. I do also believe that what is for me...is for me. So if he's not THE one there will be other opportunities in the future. I think this was still a wake up call though lol. So im definitely gonna work harder on my inner self to get that in the best shape possible too. :D
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4000 kcal
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Exercise:
Sleeping - 7 hours, Resting - 7 hours and 35 minutes, Desk Work - 6 hours, Weight Training (moderate) - 45 minutes, Walking (brisk) - 6.5/kph - 45 minutes, Calisthenics (heavy, e.g. pushups) - 55 minutes, Housework - 1 hour. more...
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